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AboutSoftware dev
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SkillsJs, node
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LocationU.K.
Joined devRant on 5/19/2016
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Real HR policy ...
HR Manager in Heaven!!!
One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "
"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules."
And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.
Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies9 -
no profession has the kind of online communities like developers and programmers,
why?
we haven't built it for them ^_^
This is fact.3 -
Boss and project manager calls me into a launch meeting for a new project. A stock management system for a small furniture company that will work over 11 stores, 4 warehouses and multiple suppliers which will also work as an ordering system. We went over the spec(112 pages) and I told him that it will be an on going project over a year with an initial dev time of 4-6 months. He just said that he's sold it to them to be delivered for testing in 2 weeks and completed in 4 weeks(they signed the contract) and that I'd best get started. I just closed my laptop and walked out.7
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The Manager cracks a joke. Everyone in the team laughs except one guy..
Manager asks him- Didn't you understand my Joke????
The guy replies - I resigned yesterday
😝😁😁4 -
$whiteWalkers = 0;
$text = 'HOLD THE DOOR';
$textLength = strlen($text);
$maxChars = 13;
while {
echo substr_replace($text, '' $maxChars/2, $textLength-$maxChars);
} do ($whiteWalkers < 8);
echo 'Hodor...':
Poor Hodor 😢7 -
try {
// code that will someday
// throw an exception. Today is
// not that day.
}
catch(Exception ex) {
// The big day has arrived! BUT...
// I'm a heartless bastard who
// does not log errors.
// Good luck finding me!
}2