Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.

Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.

Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)

Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).

These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.

Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".

The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.

What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?

Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.

Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.

But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.

So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.

On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.

In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.

This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.

Source : Reddit

The inevitable happened, the user that I've answered tons of questions about freelancing deleted his account, thankfully I took backups and will recreate it [together with a killed joke] in the comments below (should've just webarchived it, meh)

I'll keep adding questions & answers I come across to make this a useful resource for people that want to get into freelancing, want to ask me something in the comments, you name it.

Might compile it into a better searchable resource eventually (some sort of blog with TOC), but right now neither do I have the time nor will to do that.

Wish I could have taken over the link that has been now posted a lot, but every post has an ID and I doubt it's possible, will tag dfox to clarify though and also floydian and devtea, that have been so nice to always post a link to that one rant.

How to be in time - deutsche Bahn Edition

i feel like there needs to be a volume 3 as well

'Be long-term lazy.'

As in:
Work hard.
DRY.
If it takes more than 20 minutes, then automate it.
Prevent repeated work by testing just enough.

Lets create a story:

One day I was coding on my laptop, and I decided to get out to get a cup of coffee...

I think Linux is indeed Userfriendly, there are just Users which aren't Computerfriendly.

What if God is actually an average developer working for a company which creates worlds and at first it all ran fine but then the support period expired and wasn't renewed and now shit's hitting the fan and nobody gives a fuck.

New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take?"

         Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi."

         New engineer: "Why pi?"

         Seasoned engineer: "It ensures that all my budgets are irrational."

"The most important skill in life is mitigating frustrations, but please don't get good at it — your suffering is hilarious"

— Girlfriend, while I was trying to fix her CPU cooler.

I realized immediately she just explained why this community exists.

"How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things, but how well we are understood." - Andrew Grove

To celebrate Quantum release, let's share your must have add-ons for your browser(s).

Mine :
- bitwarden,
- ublock origin,
- jsonovich,
- feedbro
- rested
- error indicator
That's all.

Screenshot and pocket are already included with Firefox and work great. Chrome needs extensions for those though. I used to have disconnect and ghostry in past.

De-google your life

Search:
-qwant
-startpage
-searx
-duck duck go look up the founder
-yandex (putin botnet)

Mail
-cock.li
-ProtonMail
-Posteo
-Tutanota
-your own

Browsers
-https://kek.gg/i/3g2z6d.png (superior list)
-https://kek.gg/i/67YQQx.jpg (for furfags)
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Web_browsers

Collaborative documents
-quip
-turtl
-ether pad (eg: notes.typo3.org or etherpad.net)
-microsoft office online (lol)

Image Upload/Edit
-kek.gg

Video sharing
-hooktube
-bitchute.com
-vid.me
-dtube.video

Social
-gnu social (for freedom loving patriots)
-mastodon (for proprietary loving gook pedos and sjws)
-gab.ai
-minds
-diaspora

Image Upload/Edit
-kek.gg

Google CDN avoidance
-Decentraleyes

Ad and script blocking
-uBlock Origin

Share links without gibbing clicks
-archive.is

Android
-droid-break.info

How to hosts file (lol, just block google bro):
-https://archive.is/gBJ8i

Reading:
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Anonymizing_yourself#Fingerprinting
-https://wiki.installgentoo.com/inde...
/Firefox#Notable_add-ons
-https://panopticlick.eff.org

Nice mailing service you got there...

Any service like digital ocean cheap and support PayPal?

When fixing things:
Linux = be root
Windows = reboot

When people disable copy-paste...

Whenever I come across some acronyms...

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Which gui for my arch linux ? :D