72

Lets create a story:

One day I was coding on my laptop, and I decided to get out to get a cup of coffee...

Comments
  • 21
    On the way i got an alert on my phone...
  • 29
    Because I called my Laptop „Lappy“
  • 20
    I ignored this becasue he/she (at this point I don't even know anymore 😂) did this almost everyday
  • 18
    And had another split personality episode between Alice and Alex
  • 30
    I'm self-employed. I don't even have a boss. What's going on?
  • 21
    Then I realize I need to take my pills, maybe this was another day dream episode I have
  • 17
    The only thing that keep my sanity in check, she is amazing wait she is real? or is only another personal projection?
  • 17
    Drank too much again... am I even self employed or did the voices in my head...
  • 24
    ... schedule a daily stand up meeting tomorrow with James Gosling, Richard Stallman and Linus Trovaldis
  • 18
    And they looks pissed because there is too much grease on my laptop screen but not enough on my bacon
  • 24
    "...And doesn't contain Linux!!!" Linus cries out shocked
    "You mean gnu/Linux" Stallman points out
  • 16
    Then Steve Irwin pops up and says "Crikey mate, gnu is an endangered species" that's when I realize I'm on some high quality stuff
  • 15
    At this point I considered LSD to NOT hallucinate...
  • 14
    ...then I look back and think how it all got so fucked up, how I went from being a java developer to a crystal meth dealing badass gangster calling himself Schrodinger"
  • 13
  • 13
    Then I got horny and banged that keyboard
  • 14
    ...
    And the keyboard didn't resist.
    The day was rough.
    ...
  • 15
    But i can use ed, and nano
  • 8
  • 12
    It was time for a change ...
  • 11
    And Dfox knows that the server nullify all DoS attempts @DLMousey
  • 10
    What it could be?
    Is there something in the server closet?
  • 9
    But he knows a squad isn't a bad idea... @hch11
  • 11
    then again a thought came ...
  • 15
    ... Was about to chocke it but then I remembered that is better an egg today than a chicken soup tomorrow
  • 10
    Weird...
  • 8
    So I scrambled the eggs while waiting for bundler to install 2 gems so that I could...
  • 8
    Open a jeweler's in...
  • 8
    The middle east, so that I could fight off Isis, which meant
  • 8
    A huge solar storm was discharged by the sun and suddenly all the electricity went out. Everywhere....
  • 11
    Developers around the world went into a chaos of madness as they realize they don't have to deal with new JS frameworks anymore…
  • 8
    Suddenly I wake up and think to myself: "I shouldn't be coding till 6AM anymore."
  • 6
    @Charmesal
    And i felt slept immediately again :v
  • 3
    For other weird dream:
    @hch11
  • 5
    Satoshi Nakamoto hacked PayPal!!!??!111
    @hch11
  • 5
    :x (save and quit random_devrant_collab.story opened in vim)

    Or is this inception i.e. vim with vim with in ...... 😱
  • 2
    Just got 1 up in the dreamception stairs, just for turn back and dream again...

    @sak96
  • 2
    And now he has the power to manipulate every ejecutable script....
    @hch11
  • 2
    And has to found who can manipulate every compiled binary....
  • 2
    To battle her...
  • 2
    But, thanks to Java, they only fusionated their mind in another weird wild dream...
    But the battle continues
  • 5
    So, I called up my buddy AnonyOps and he said...
  • 4
    "If you can perfectly handle infinite loops, you wil have absolute power"
  • 4
    But my power is You.
  • 3
    Yup. Exec and Script felt in love. The most beautiful tie ever <3 :3 :v. But it's just matter of time, for this tie choking both.... :/
    @mebekix
    Edit: added emoticons
  • 5
    I pause for a second and reflect, I was expecting to other things today but you know shit happens, find my headphones in the floor, time to be in the zone no more distractions, please no more slack messages or emails I just need my terminal to get the job done
  • 6
    And there I was: Sitting in a dark, quiet room only with my terminal and ...
  • 3
    The old man was standing behind me, poking me , introducing himself as David F.
  • 5
    *snarl* "You cannot see the light, young developer", he says
  • 4
    he said : a new JavaScript framework is comming ...
  • 3
    "Just remember emacs"
  • 5
    it's Angular 300, which ofc is not backward compatible and ...
  • 4
    Its full of mining Trojans
  • 4
    some guy passed and notice sticker on my laptop and made fun of it in , here
    https://devrant.com/rants/1367761/...
  • 3
    But when i saw his laptop, the screen was showing something about a "tachyonic transceptor", which i obviously didn't mind
  • 3
    I'm used to all kinds of theorist and belivers.

    That reminds me ...
  • 4
    I finally got the coffee and drank it. But i felt a little funny, I think I was roofied. when I woke up...
  • 2
    Another day another hack was on the news, big corp struggle to fight just kids, what a surprise ...
  • 2
    But, you know what cheers me up at these times?
  • 2
    The End.
  • 1
    But, it does not seem to be...
    .
    -1s/\./\?/p
    $-1,$p
    wq

    @1nfinite
  • 2
    Aw but it was such a nice end
  • 5
    the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end is never the end
  • 3
    ...but it was far from over...the project would need years before i could mark the end...
  • 3
    My boss yield when I mention the end of the project, so I just walk a way and prepare my next move, a new company was in my horizon
  • 8
    that's when I realised that my ISP is bsnl (both side not linked)
  • 6
    Linked?

    Just got fucked up on prod as configs were linked to testing environment.
    And thats what I will posted on my LinkedIn under achievements.

    And thinking to link you all in my 1st connection who reviewed my stupidity sense as recomendations.
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