When you're getting paid by the hour instead of by the job.

Source: UNILAD Tech

So I need to create a nice new web app. Let's look at some cool JS frameworks that I can work with.

*5 mins later* Hm, Angular sounds good, is there any good competitor?

*5 mins later* Wow, React sounds awesome as well. Let me learn it.

Google search result:

"Planning to use react? Check out Vue JS first"

*5 mins later* Ok so vue seems faster than React and much easier to learn. Let me see if Vue is the final choice.

Google search result:

"Angular VS Knockout VS Ember VS React VS Mithril VS Mercury VS Ractive VS Vue VS Riot"

Nope, fuck it

Today I announced to a customer (a shitty one) that we had lost all their data. When I was done explaining what happened, one of my employee turn to me and said :"oh! I know where the data are. I did a backup there". It was after 1 weeks of searching that the tech decided to tell us he knew where all the backup went... Now I have to call the customer again...

Inheritance

The 5 phases of software development

True story.

I'm browsing DevRant, giggling to myself, my girlfriend asks to see why I'm laughing,

I show her...
*Stares at it with a blank look on her face*
"I don't get it, explain it for me please"

I explain that: even if I explain it to her, she STILL wouldn't understand.

2 hours later she's made her first "Hello World" Java App so she can join DevRant 😂😂😂

You know you are fucked when you see these results starts to come up in your search result.

Always be honest

😒.

Oh, you're 87% Web Design, are you? Get the fuck outta here.
Literally one of my biggest pet peeves for CVs/resumes/company website templates

unlimited

Made me laugh...

PM: I want a status report
ME: Here you go (sending email)
PM: I want more status (!?)
ME: Ok (adding some random bullshit)
PM: Perfect, thank you!

Shortest Android dev training course, 7 taps! I am now android development, yes? 😂

Generation gap

When you're too busy ranting...

Wanna catch an exception!

If Trump was a dev:
git commit -m "Make tests green again"

When people find out the hard truth

When you don't wanna fix someone's machine but they won't take no for an answer.
1. Go to
http://fakewindowsupdate.com
2. Select OS
3. Press F11
4. Just tell them it just needed to update and enjoy the show.

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

I got the job!!!!!

Internetgold

Worst part of devving? Handling fucking time. GMT, EST, daylight savings, DHCP settings overriding the actual time because some fuckwit runs a server incorrectly, dealing with Voip phones and their super flaky time profiles. Fuck time.

My dog murdered my stressball

when your boss has no technical background so animations WOW him

My gf tried to charge the pendrive, coz the pc said device not recognized.
How they do this ???

microsoft

Find it...