How to avoid haters on Stackoverflow:
1. Add this before your code: "Try the following:"
2. Profit!

Exact same code, but one is hated

Fuck the imperial system. For centuries everyone used meters and kilograms to measure shit so why the FUCK did the U.S decide to use pounds and inches. Like i see most articles and videos comfortably using the metric system, EVERYTHING uses the metric system. then i stumble on an idiot who makes me go to a converter so I can understand his pound-inch-based lingo. FUCK YOU

Please make the UI intuitive, OK? Sure thing, boss

wow good quality

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

Client: we need extraordinary website in ordinary price.
Me: ohk *google search* WordPress free theme.

"If it's not broken, don't fix it"

Follow that and you will be blessed with lots of ugly, duct-taped, hacky and unoptimized code -_-

Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

Found a new command on Linux.

Lodash is the new JQuery.

"How do I sum two numbers?"
"Uhm... dude, I think you are gonna need Lodash"