"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Going thru Updates on App Store. Saw devRant. Cancelled all updates and updated devRant first.

When you show your girlfriend the CSS animation that took you 2 days to make and she gives you the most unimpressed look.

if we will make a list of female developers who are on devrant and are active, then list will end in less than twenty lines.
we should encourage more females to join the profession as they are excelling everywhere like as astranauts, politics etc.
I know abt yahoo ceo, I am just saying we need more and more.

This gif explain how does window firewall works

On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

So true

The stickers have finally arrived! Thank you @dfox

Client: My mouse is working backwards
me: *rotates mouse 180 degrees*
Client: Thanks! You even brought the buttons back!

"Can I like, download some WiFi so I can use it later on the train ?"

Glad that the only issues I have in my life are on Github!

Epic Answer .... 😂😂😂😂😜😜😜

And all my life I thought "clicking refresh on my windows" makes the computer faster.

Made a really cool spinning animation on a button that submits a form...

API Call is too fast to see it

setTimeout

"They told me to install Linux! Do you have the exe with crack?"

Me: ∆_∆

Can you hack Facebook?

"Can we build an app that works only in South Africa, for multiple clients, with no WiFi connection, each app contains an entire website and database to use offline, where any changes to one database synchronises every client's app, and also save those changes to our servers?"

These clients are hundreds of miles apart and on the other side of the world.

Dumbest Tech Question Ever: How do I transfer power over Bluetooth.

When my comment on someone's rant gets enough +1's for some sweet stickers, but none of my rants had enough 🤔😥

I forgot my Facebook password and got locked out of my email, can you hack it for me?

When you come back to your own code after days

Reality of employees... Lol 😂😂😂😂😜😜😜

- Hey, that envelope seems important, did you get a job on NY or something?
- Better, I got stickers!

Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."

Crashing is the only thing windows does quickly.

My job is so f**king unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless.
The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on make-up.
She is extremely self-centred and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself.
She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet.
Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10.
I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts.
I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead.
In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work.
He probably hasn't been sober any time in the last ten years, and he's only 22.
He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big f**king dog to work.
Every f**king day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke.
Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing.
Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonald's and Burger King, every single f**king day.

Anyway, I drive these dicks around in my van and we solve mysteries and s**t.