As soon as someone watches me code over my shoulder my IQ drops by 50%

we fell in love because both of us prefer tabs over spaces

There's a "support" button in my app that allows users to contact me to report issues. The email body is prefilled with some useful information. This is the kind of email that I receive most of the time... DO THEY THINK I CAN READ THEIR MINDS?

I don't think I'm doing this right...

Who else thinks having their devrant avatar in this loading screen (in the app) will give it a more personal touch? ;)

Thanks to Devrant I've learned about rubber duck debugging. Never heard of it before! It reminds me of a story many moons ago when I worked for a certain multinational company as a business analyst. The company brought in some consultants who basically stole the work my team was already doing on a big project (a horrendous series of spreadsheets linked to data coming from the core systems) and sold it back to the company for an insane amount of money as their idea.

When they launched the new product, the team I was in was asked to test and review it. It took my colleague ten seconds to bring the whole thing to its knees and trigger a corrupt data export back into the core systems. Bearing in mind this external company somehow managed to charge tens of thousands of pounds. So what did my colleague do? Hack the system? Some kind of complicated sabotage? Nope. He typed "FISH" into one of the spreadsheet cells! Thus the FISH test was born.

That day I learned several things: it's easy to break things with a fish; the importance of validating your input; and the satisfaction of showing up the smug bastards who stole your ideas and work.

It is a sincere request to all the people who are asking for a backup of their files and documents, to please stop pestering us regarding the same.

We can't possibly collect your data, and even if there's a way, it would be nearly impossible for us to find your data from billions and billions of files and directories.

Citizens are requested to please understand our problems.
Have a nice day :)

Sure I would love to meet null and beat the fucking crap out of him 🤣🤣🤣

fellow programmer: what did you write today?

Me:

All linux users out there is there a way to protect from "rm -rf" scenario if your friend knows your linux password

condition == true

is for boys,

public static boolean isTrue(boolean condition) {
try {
return new Boolean(condition).equals(Boolean.parseBoolean(new String(Boolean.toString((boolean) Boolean.class.getField(String.valueOf(true != false).toUpperCase()).get(null)).toString().toCharArray())));
} catch(Throwable t) {
return condition;
}
}

is for men.

I'm a self deprecating PHP developer.

..there's a decent pun in this thought, somewhere..

middle finger

Pen and paper. I fill notebooks with pseudocode and flow charts before ever touching a keyboard.

The post button should say "Commit"

So my friend and I are trying to launch his bot in his Discord server. I'm typing node index.js: nothing. He tells me to delete the points.json folder. I try launching it again. NOTHING. I then ask him what I do then, so he sends me another .js file. Well it turns out I didn't have Node installed in the first place when I thought I already had. Give if take a good 10 minutes later, the bot is online. My favorite commands don't work because I was missing those files.

When your GitHub repo gets a star

main()
{
printf("Hello devs");
}

I'm starting to get a bit of a social life.. It feels.. Strange...

Read this gem in a Pi guide: "And now we install Github: sudo apt-get install git-core"

A student sent me his code to look for the cause of an error. I spent 2 hours researching if there are any breaking changes in the latest version of AngularJS. Everything looked fine. I could not spot any errors. I tried copying and pasting my own script and link tags, and it worked. I put back his tags, and again got an error.

I almost shot myself in the head when I saw type="text/javascritp" in the script tag he used. I didn't know how to react. It could happen to anybody but I wanted to punch him. Feeling better now.

Emm.... Copy failed successfully.....

The # in C# is a ligature for C++++

What the fuck

Coming soon, C#++/2*68

Who, after switching to Linux, started naming their files and folders without spaces?

After a month of loving git, I finally got into an irreversible git mess yesterday. Spent all night rewriting last two days of code. I feel like a real programmer 😋

Seriously though, I'm gonna take backups a lot more frequently now onwards.

1. Wrote super complex snippet w/o comments.
2. Commit & push.
3. Read code after 1 month
4. Ask yourself how you wrote that.

Product dev: We need a new volume slider for ou...

Dev: Say no more!

Did you just assume my Filetype?!?!

Reading code samples in the toilet... I'm not normal.

The amount of times i have told clients to "fuck their own face" in my head is astounding