I was giving an interview this other day and I was sharing my screen with the interviewer.

Interviewer 😦: Is this linux you are using?
Me 😅: Ah yes. Since this is a coding round I am not comfortable on windows for coding.
Interviewer 😳: And this is your personal laptop?
Me 😁: Yes, since the only use of windows is primarily to play games and the games I play are usually supported on linux, I dont see any reason why my daily driver should be anything other than linux.
Interviewer 😯: What distro is this?? Looks cool.
Me 😆: Its Ubuntu with KDE Plasma. There are some really cool things in here which actually make my life quite easier.
Interviewer ☺️: I must check this out today itself. Lets start with the interview then.
Me 😊: *Blushing in my mind

And this is how you score some instant brownie points in an interview. Actually if truth be told, that laptop was actually my work laptop and my personal laptop has windows on it because nvidia and Assassin's Creed.

My coworker left his Windows 10 system unlocked today.

Me:

1. Print screen on desktop
2. Saves the image
3. Sets image as wallpaper
4. Hides desktop icons
5. Changes taskbar alignment to the right and enables auto hide.
6. 🤣🤣🤣

The world is about to end

4am

"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*

1minute of heavy processing later

"FUCK"

teacher gives a question in a test : can you save a word document as a pdf.

me :Yes

teacher :that is wrong

me : shows her how to do it..

teacher : "oh well "

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

Dev: Microsoft is shit

VS Code: (ಥ⌣ಥ)

Dev: Oh not you dear! You're not like the other guys

VS Code: (｡◕‿◕｡)

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

Where is the LAN cable and why the hell does my chair not...

Oh.

Client : pls put the disclaimer that the site uses cookies.
Me: but we don't use cookies this is a static page
Client: Still, the pop up makes the site look more professional, kindly add the feature asap
Me: :/

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

Found this on twitter 😂

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

I imagine two dev colleagues sitting next to each other, on their phone, each feeling very secure in the anonymity of devrant.

No doubt 😂

If you somehow managed to install Mac OS on a raspberry Pi, does that make it an Apple Pi?

I'm sorry, I'll leave now...

Found something true as 1 == 1

People who send an email saying "I'm getting an error message".

WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!

WHAT IS THE FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE?!

OH NO SURE LET ME LOOK IN MY CRYSTAL BALL, I'LL HAVE IT FIGURED OUT FOR YOU IN NO FUCKING TIME.

😡

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

pshht 🤫😄

"happy" holidays (found on instagram, credit to shitheadsteve)

Me: I mend shoes

Only pure evil can design a PC case that has reset button same size and shape like USB port and place it next to USB ports.

My classroom had this, nice inspiration
Bad UX

Merry Christmas y'all