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Joined devRant on 7/24/2016
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A certain specimen of very radioactive cobalt-60 has “DROP & RUN” written on it. Talk about warning labels. 15 minutes at 1m away from it means certain death.
If you drop it and run as fast as you can, you’ll only lose your arm.3 -
Our scrum master planned a 1-on-1 to go over everyones tasks when he is off for 20 days (paternity leave) one day before his wife is expected to give birth
Now he is surprised this plan fell through for obvious reasons3 -
I did it.
I finally fucked prod.
And had to do open heart surgery on the service to get it unfucked.
Shit happens. Luckily its internal prod only...8 -
Managers gettin horny when they realize that AI doesn't even need a free pizza party once a year to stay motivated5
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I'm preparing a major deployment & what do I see?
SOMEONE MANUALLY EDITED PROD AGAIN
IMO they deserve to be hit on their hands with a stick every time they even think of fucking with it.13 -
5 more classes. i just gotta finish this semester and do my thesis and I'll be free. fuck this place3
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There really ought to be a special word to describe a non-technical user who keeps finding weird, edge case bugs that we can't reproduce.
Any ideas?11 -
!dev
There’s this person at $work who never uses punctuation of any kind. She has mental issues and insists on neutral pronouns (and strongly advertises these) so I’ll use the indefinite to pretend to be respectful. It has multiple thoughts while typing a message and just keeps typing through all of them without stopping. It pauses not to collect its thoughts, to edit for clarity or to fix mistakes, to separate anything (including disjoint topics), to summarize, etc. (Though calling these “thoughts” is a huge stretch, given its lack of propensity for that particular subject.) It’s as if it has zero distinction between writing and speaking, and simply lets the mental diarrhea flow while their fingers do their best to keep pace. Reading these trainwrecks of thought — and gleaning any useful information from them — is always difficult and a little bit painful.
It is also in charge of IT security, which is more than a bit worrying. (But I hate the company with a passion, so it doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it otherwise would.)37 -
what's the most memorable way you've destroyed a piece of hardware?
I left my laptop on top of a heating unit today and then proceeded to crank it up to like 80°C. I'll try turning it on when it cools down, the plastic hasn't melted so I'm optimistic, but I'm pretty sure the battery's a pillow.22 -
My brothers friend messages me on discord asking for help making their chatgpt generated code look more human
Turns out he put his class work on hold till the last day and wants AI to save his gpa
Not my problem. I didn't reply. I don't have time for this shit7 -
the ability to recognize when someone is better at something than you might be the most valuable skill of all
no glass ceilings, just exponential growth at every opportunity10 -
I need to pull a few rabbits out of my arse on Monday and I don't have enough executive function points to do it all 🥺4
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!rant I pity anyone who may have overheard my interaction with a gecko that managed to sneak inside my house when I went to get a package on my doorstep last night around midnight
“Hey little guy, let’s try to get you to go back outside, okay? Nonononooo not that way, fella. Down the wall. DOWN. DO NOT CLIMB BACK UP. Okay. Yeah, see, there you go. Good job. OH MY GOD DO NOT DO THAT. Listen, I think you’re fucking cute, okay? BUT IF YOU CHARGE AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU TRIGGER MY FEAR RESPONSE AND YOU MAKE IT REALLY HARD FOR ME NOT TO KILL YOU. Hooooooly shit, little dude. You were so almost dead. Okay. Okay, yeah, go out the door. Door. Yesssss.”
closes door, only to realize little dude’s tail is still on this side
“OMG LITTLE DUDE, are you okay?!!” opens door, little dude sneaks back inside
“Noooooo you need to go outside. Come on, you know you want to go outside”
Finally managed coax him out the door and confirmed he’d cleared the doorway before closing and locking it.3 -
I'm averaging 3 hours a day outside of meetings. Mostly in 30 minute blocks.
Manager is wondering why I can't get work done...4 -
This project is just a complete clusterfuck... But nvm. We had to integrate a third party service pushing data into our system. Btw the service wasnt even working correctly. But that is just the tip of the iceberg. Its friday around lunch time. Message appears "what is the status of the integration?" Yeah havent started working on it. Last info was service is not stable. I doubt that this will be done this week. Next message from PO: "We will all push hard to get this done today and deploy to prod." Why? Because this dumbasses said to the customer this will be deployed eod. And by we you mean the devs once again doing overtime. Has this shit stopped? No. Like for the last two weeks its like we promised the customer xyz to be deployed tomorrow. Not a single dev was asked how long it takes to add this2
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https://theverge.com/2024/9/...
Meta's CEO can really go fuck himself! The way social media works has altered so much of adult brain, let alone teenager's mental health. 😒 Which planet is this fuckface living on?9 -
The challenge of interesting side projects is that it's not just the thing. It's the thing then a whole-ass visualisation library. Or tooling for whatever stupid thing I want to do.
Also then I get bored and start on the next thing.9 -
Show of hands for people who feel they can effectively estimate their work and consistently give accurate due dates on short tasks and longer projects?9
