Unskippable credits in video games should be banned.

Debugging on production server be like

So, Facebook is acquiring Giphy. The amount of metadata they're about to get is fucking insane.

And since I refuse to personally use anything Facebook related... I won't be able to use the GIF integration of any messenger and many more products/services anymore, I guess...

Just fucking great. Fucking die, Facebook.

Where you get the Code

When told to completely change clients website design (back then, I kind of worked with them), I simply changed colors to a bit darker ones, flipped floats on sidebars (yap, two of them), changed font and increased bold size.

That was all I did and proudly took the full payment.

Oh, and it was done in 30 minutes, last day before we had a skype call for the demo :)

Dev: "Ah, I finally fixed that code I was working on the other day and got it pushed to staging!"

Almond: "Ah, great! What was the issue in the end?"

Dev: "It was an odd one - it wasn't actually my code that was the issue, there was a bunch of other code getting in the way."

Almond: "How do you mean?"

Dev: "It kept complaining about something called a "unit test" failing - so after a while I found the right unit tests, deleted them, and now it works great!"

Almond: "..."

what a irony !

manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.

graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.

coreldraw

-_-

That's right, in Italy we use the blockchain for chicken

Teaching new recruit some SQL (even though hes supposed to fucking know SQL and have multiple years experience but I was a contractor and idgaf, not messing up my money. Just fucking annoying to have an idiot around you all the time).

Me: Okay, so sys tables, so this one is for jobs yeah?

Him: Yeah

Me: Okay, so in this table, its obviously not one row per job per step cos you have multiple rows for the same job and step. Also, there is a datetime field, so what is it showing?

Him: Hmmmmm..... (after some time, back and forth we get to the answer).... history table

Me: Cooooooool, okay, so, lets say, I have a job with 5 steps. If i run it once, how many rows will be in this table?

Him: 5 rows.

Me: Correct, so if I were to have run this same job, 10 times, how many rows get inserted into the table?

Him: (Now...you have to understand, how long this thought process was, im trying to fill the gap with words but really, he was like, having a flashback or something...I kept quiet but silently wanting him to say anything....then he looks me dead in the eyes).... 10!

Me: Motherfucker what!?!? 10 What? If 1 time == 5, what does 10 times ==?

Him: Hmmmmmmmmm.... (yes...we are doing this whole flashback montage all over again)....... Ohhhhh, 1!

Me: .....Stop, think, its a history table. It holds history, for when every step is run for a job, why would it be only one row?

Him: OMG, I know what a history table is!!!!

Me: (Pissed off cos I don't take disrespect calmly). Fine, genius, answer, go!

Him: (LONGER WAIT THAN LAST TIME!!!!)....is it not 10?

Me: I swear, I'm gonna kill you one of these days.

Him: *chuckle*

Me: No...seriously....

TOOK 20-30 MINUTES FOR HIM TO SAY 50!!!!!!

And even then, I swear he didn't understand why. Serious, he was a special breed, had a manager that was a super tard and when I worked here, the spirit of that manager possessed this idiot, the CIO and his little right hand bitch zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If there was ever a time I was willing to catch a case at work, it was there.

Bonus: Serious, it got to the point I had to come in and tell this idiot that he can only ask me questions today if he calls me by my name...and my name has changed today...and no, you can't ask me for it cos you need my name to ask me questions.....FUCK OFF kkthxbai.

Me: Feminists do have a small point.

Inner me: Can't convert null to object

Reality VS Linkedin Profile
😜😜😂😂

Just love it when windows takes its sweet time to delete node_modules

1) buy devrant stickers.
2) travel.
3) put stickers on checked bags. One on every side would be preferable.
4) easily find bags when arriving to destination as devrant stickers will make them stand out.

Enjoy.

If recruiters had a playlist 😂

rookie dev : "to my senior, im gonna ask you the basic questions instead of googling it. Im gonna disturb you every now and then.... just kidding"

Top 10 anime plot twist.

Many thanks MySQL. Really a good way to implement a driver. Go fuck yourself.

New guy added this in a Angular 4 project :/

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

one of few programming topics more controversial than politics

/bin/meme

sudo is life

Guess I still like css 🤷

For once I didn't use Bootstrap for this. Instead used Bulma, very promising!

Two actual lines of code I stumbled upon...

static ArchiveAbstract ARCHIVE_TRUE = new ArchiveTrue();
static ArchiveAbstract ARCHIVE_FALSE = new ArchiveFalse();

Ok you might think, what is going on? Searching for it's usage yields exactly a single case:

if(someVar instanceof ArchiveTrue ? true : false)

So someone managed to introduce 3 new classes... instead of using a simple boolean.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Job interview attrocity

I find the way to collect the garbage.

Perhaps I should just stick to software development

I'm experiencing a bit of what a viral content might feel like on Twitter, thanks to this masterpiece someone left in our lab 😂

yeahhh that's right motherfcukerrs, we live in 2018 where gender is no longer a radio button option

Me the other night...