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Joined devRant on 2/19/2018
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It's 21:42. I had 1 month to write a report on my internship. Day after tomorrow is submission. I'm starting now.
I deleted Facebook Inc.'s products long time ago, deleted YouTube app, removed Quora account, put filters on suggestions for Stack Exchange networks, blocked Reddit, stopped Spotify, started Trello/Wunderlist/Evernote to organise thoughts, ForestApp and StayFocusd for controlled browsing, deleted Tumblr etc. All this just to focus on the report and get it done as soon as possible.
Now I FOUND devRant! What the fuck world! Why!? I'm now ranting about issue on devRant with this rant. <- this sentence is a meta, if you didn't realise.9 -
Happy April Fool's!
- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins22 -
Teacher: "Whats that key thingy?"
Class: "You mean the keyboard?"
Teacher: "Yes, that one!"
I shit you not, she was my IT educator for a year.
Send help.5 -
That’s fucking insane.... Probably a double post; sorry in advance... I just have to express my anger and amazement for a second.
Angry that they didn’t use such a high powered DDoS attack against say... Facebook or some shit like that, amazed at the sheer size of that attack...
I kinda wanna touch it.22 -
I just noticed when you search the meaning of a word you want to know in Google under it there is a quiz called Word Couch, you guys should try it out might learn some cool stuff in it, well I knew in do did1
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Ok, this is a rant against some devRanters.
STOP THINKING THE ANSWER TO ANY PROBLEM IS SWITCHING TO LINUX! STOP!
I am a linux user but i fucking hate people who act like dickheads to other OS users.
-A node.js problem is not a windows/linux problem
-An android studio problem is not a windows/linux problem
-A problem with website x is not a windows/linux problem
Understand the problem and give a relevant answer, don't just spit "Use Linux" everytime.40 -
*it’s friday and everything works*
> Commit
> Run my project on monday morning
> Feature doesn’t work
> No clear error message
> Everything’s gone to shit
> Nobody knows how to fix it
> 🙂🔫5 -
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.7 -
TL;DR: I “hacked” my thermostat.
I’m stuck with an annoying roommate in college dorms who apparently always keeps the FUCKING thermostat at 80F. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM. Every time I change it to like 73F, he changes it back to 80F Heat.
Getting tired of his shit for over a semester, I decided to do something about it. I looked up the thermostat made by HoneyWell and downloaded the product manual of it. Turns out, they have a system override ability to remove the heating mode and change the maximum and minimum values of temperature.
BOOM! I removed the heating mode and changed the minimum value to 70 and max to 74.
It’s 2AM here and I can finally go to sleep without sweating my balls off. I’ll keep you guys updated on his reaction hahahaha.28 -
I was newly hired to company. A customer came in yelling saying "there's a bug, this should do this but it's doing that..."
PM came to me and told me to "urgently fix this as this is an important customer".
So I started debugging for hours and asking around and all follow devs agreed that this is a bug. Then I found it!! And it was clear that it was not doing what the customer wanted.
I decided to look through this code history and found out that this part of the code wasn't changed for a year but the code commited before it did actually what the customer was expecting (whaaaa....)
Gathered the devs and the PM showing them what I found. They all looked at each other and then one said "ouuhhh right...yes it was doing this but we changed it to that..."
Turns out it's a feature not a bug, and everyone forgot about it.
FML8 -
"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"
"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"
* 3 hours later *
Still coding, wtf is wrong with me6 -
Random Person: *looks at my screen as I’m writing a short pointless script* Oh! Are you coding?
Me: Yes.
R: Oh! I code as well!
M: Cool, what languages do you know?
R: Uh, English?
...10 -
A recruiter just sent me a position which required 10+ year experience on ReactJS. So, should I reply "Good luck."?14
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I ranted about this guy before who thought he was a security expert while hardly knowing what the word is probably. Today I met him again at a party.
Holy fucking shit, this guy.
"we use the best servers of the netherlands"
"we use a separate server for each website and finetune them"
"we always put clusters under servers, that way we have a fallback mechanism"
"companies mostly use bv ssl certificates"
"you're on call for a week? I'm full-time on call. Why I'm drinking alcohol then? Because fuck the clients hahaha"
😥🔫15 -
To the MSI genius that decided to put the < and } keys in two completely random and non-standard positions: 🖕🖕🖕🖕19
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People say go big or go home. As if going home is a bad thing. Hell yeah I wanna go home and I wanna take a nap when I get there.4
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I told my mom that Facebook has all of her pictures and information. I asked her if she was okay with that? She replied,
“Que se la metan por el culo!”10 -
Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.
Seven hours wasted on this shit :/3 -
Boss : How do you access code at home ?
Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand
Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?
Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.4 -
TLDR; funny revenge prank from my manager
So yesterday (April 2) I decided to prank my manager about me resigning (I've been working with them for 4 years) I wrote a legit looking resignation letter. (No signature) and at the back page it has a small font "April fools".
I asked my junior to help putting it on my managers desk since I was working from home. When my manager saw it he immediately had a meeting with my technical lead. he didnt notice the april fools at the back so I sent him a short email to look at the back and he laughed.
Come today, I recieved an email from our it team with the subject "POST RESIGNATION PROCEDURES FOR JUNNERS". It has some legit looking contents as well as a hyperlInk for a resignation checklist.
It felt like im having a mini heart attack since I thought it was legit. When I opened the hyperlink I was shocked.
I love my job 😂6 -
Story time.
Not sure it counts as data loss, more temporary corruption (and in my own brain).
> be me.
> be clinically depressed
> be recently out of an awful breakup
> recently nearly committed suicide by train
> be bored and lonely one night
> take lsd
> feel fine
> go to McDonald’s
> feel fine
> while eating question the nature of reality
> become convinced I’m an observer of a cosmic story and cannot die
> go outside in only jeans
> run in traffic at 1AM to prove my point
> don’t die
> run around the streets more sure of my new reality than I’d ever been of anything
> feel free and no longer sad
> walk around observing the world
> sit on wall and wonder why the story had the structure I was observing
> fall off wall into grass and mud
> follow cute guy into apartment building
> follow into lift
> ask what everything means
> spend better part of couple hours in lift pressing emergency button asking for help
> get no response
> scare poor Russian lady that gets into lift and finds an overweight topless man on the floor babbling incoherently
> ride to top floor
> get out
> sit on leather chair in corridor
> feelsnice.tiff
> decide I’m actualising my desires and reality
> don’t realise this is just the trip wearing off and consciousness exerting more control
> walk into random apartment (door is unlocked because why wouldn’t it be for the god that I believe I am at this point)
> explore
> gorgeous apartment
> realise it’s a family apartment from clothes in hallway and items
> find bathroom
> decide I want a bubble bath
> run bubble bath
> can’t work out how to drain water. Bath now full of twigs and mud #sorry
> decide that I’d like to go home, or onto my next adventure. Hopefully the seaside as I’m now realising I have more control.
> open bathroom door
> not the seaside. Ah well. Try to walk home
> walk home wrapped in fluffy towel from nice family’s apartment
> get home
> realise what had happened
> throw remaining drugs away
> sit and rock in utter paranoia and guilt for hours until flatmate wakes up.
MFW first bad trip ever.
MFW I wonder whether that family knew I was there and were scared / discovered the mess in the bathroom the next morning and not knowing which is worse.
MFW I still have the towel because it’s fluffy AF.
The moral of the story kids, is that when it comes to the OS rattling around in your brain, installing a virus that is sensitive to what apps you have running is a bad idea when those apps make the virus go to fucking town.
Terrible analogy I know, but fuck it.29 -
Buying courses in Udemy (or similar), is like paying for a gym membership.
Sure there are some who actually use it. But the vast majority is like: "Now that I paid for this, I'm sure I'll get around to using it..."11 -
Dear me,
We have noticed you uploaded files to a public github with your API keys in plaintext.
Please proceed to bang head against desk until you have learned your lesson.
Sincerely me.16 -
*talking to a customer on the phone*
*tries to switch to the next virtual desktop for a terminal*
*BAM BLACK SCREEN*
😶😐😓
*wild Linux mint logo appears*
*computer reboots*
*realize that I pressed ctrl+alt+delete*
😅🤣
*explains honestly to colleagues and client*
Both found it funny and laughed, luckily 😆9