94
linuxxx
7y

Fear of fucking failure and this thing called an inferiority complex.

I've had these two since highschool. I thought/was hoping the bullying would stop when I entered highschool but it only got worse.
All this lead to the fair of failure and inferiority complex I still notice and have to deal with every day.

The thing is that I know that I'm good at what I do and when I get a compliment I of course really like that but I forget about it rather quickly.

But I'm terribly afraid of failing/fucking something up badly and always that fucking feeling like you're inferior to every-fucking-one.
One might think that just telling me that I'm not inferior to anyone (and the other way around) helps, and I do appreciate it when people tell me that, but one person saying that once or twice is not going to overshadow the years and years and years of hearing the opposite.

Yes, that still eats me alive now and then and overcoming that with/in my work is still a huge-ass challenge.

Comments
  • 2
    Inferiority complex... lemme search that
  • 15
    Oh. I have that, too
  • 9
    I think almost everyone in the tech industry feels this. At first it seems to get worse as you get older too... as it feels like everyone ‘just gets it’, at an increasingly younger age. Before long fetuses will be rolling their own frameworks! But as you get older you also learn to care less and less, and just the fact that you’re older and doing this brings its own presumptions that you know your shit (to most people anyways). It becomes harder and harder for imposters to maintain the long game. And while whizkids come along and think they’re the shit, their lack of meta knowledge in the field, that comes only from experience, means they usually spin their wheels complaining that they’re marginalized because no one recognizes that they’re smarter than everyone else, or everyone is dumb because they don’t use this or that tech. Those people might seem like threats when you’re young, but without humility they only burn out in negative emotions. You will be fine buddy!
  • 3
    @linuxxx and yet still you persevere!
  • 1
    @Bitwise it sounds like we are on uncannily similar journeys, a different detail here, a different poison there... but very similar haha. Glad life is working out for you know bud! I’m still at a crossroads now, seeing if I can make anything work on my own or not... thanks for sharing your story!
  • 4
    Look up “imposter syndrome”.

    It’s fucking real.
    It fucking sucks.
    It gets better.
  • 2
    Stay strong bro! *hugs
  • 2
    I'm sure you'll get through this, mate. Although my version is just a little different, I can still relate to this, just like the few others on here.

    I might also post a rant about this somewhere in the near future...
  • 3
    @Bitwise that is fucking awesome. Good for you.

    I'm in a situation where a burnout is imminent or already here. My current workplace is toxic for me, I've already lined up a new job but it's four months before I can start and a three month notice period.

    And I need the money for the move to the new job, so I can't just drop it.
  • 0
    Same here. I still don't know how to take compliments at work properly because I never feel like I'm actually doing good enough.
  • 0
    To all of you who said you don't know how to take compliments, are afraid of failing and keep comparing yourselves with other people, this is what you guys have:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
  • 0
    @matsaki95 seen that before XD
  • 0
    @Brolls I don’t think it’s impostor syndrome. Impostor syndrome, to me, means you feel like you’re doing something you weren’t meant to do. This is much different.

    I have no doubt I’m doing what I am best at and that this is the career for me. But when I fuck up, I feel really bad, because I feel like I could be better, that I’m supposed to be better, but I’m not as good as I think most of the time. It’s not because I feel like I’m not in the right field, it’s because I have a perfectionist attitude. I kind of relate to OP’s post with that being said.

    I have no advice except to just not give up, shit happens, there’s almost always a way to fix something that breaks, and if there’s not, then most likely it’s someone else’s problem to fix (such as a .NET Framework bug).
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