2
b2plane
248d

While fucking my hot blonde gf this morning the Fucking DUREX condom BROKE and i creampied her. Here are the reasons why its not my fault:

1--Im not retarded

- 4 years of fcking my hot blonde gf with no protection and nothing ever happened cos im !retarded. Its a bigger risk to fuck with condom than without, how is this fucking normal???

2--I use condom the right way

- i was holding the tip so air comes out, just like it was explained on the box, but while rolling it down i was still holding the tip to make sure the air doesnt come back up

3--She was wet

- she wasnt dry. My hot blonde gfs pussy was so wet from how horny she was so its impossible that it got torn due to dryness

4--First verification

- it wasnt torn or ripped. It was normal. Everything looked absolutely fine

5--Second verification

- when i put it inside my hot blonde gf and fk her i pull it out in the first 10 seconds just to make sure it isnt torn--it was good and nothing was ripped so i slowly put it back inside

6--Condom is not thin

- i took the regular durex one (fuck this fucking dead fraud company I'll piss and shit on their grave) so it wasnt the thin bullshit one

7--Dont got a big black dick

- its normal. Average. Not small nor big. So latex elasticity isn't my problem

8--50-50%

- every FUcking time when i fked my hot blonde gf with a condom i always stressed if it'll break or not. This is not the first time it broke. FUCK the product that is THIS MUCH unreliable, unsafe and fragile! I'll fuck the whole durex company up. Im not the only one who had this problem. DUREX IS THE BIGGEST OVERRATED SCAM COMPANY SPENDING BILLIONS ON MARKETING FOR A LOW QUALITY SHIT PRODUCT THAT DOESNT EVEN WORK

9--Package didnt expire

- i bought a new box in the store on 8th march for womens day (modern women value having gifted with condoms more than flowers). It wasnt bought in a shit china quality shop. I fked her in the car at night and also creampied her but the condom did NOT break. Then i fked her this morning in bed with condom from the SAME BOX, and now it DID break. Are you Fucking kidding me???

10--Emergency contraception

- i died from high adrenaline of running so fast to the store to buy her contraception. Had to run to 4 fucking stores cause all of them don't work before 7:30am. Finally found one in the 4th store and she drank Escapelle within 20 minutes of incident, as soon as it was physically possible

11--And now what

- now what. What do i do. I did everything i could. Nothing is my fault. My hot blonde gf wanted me to creampied her it was her idea so shes at fault partially. She will get tested in 15 days while this contraception lasts. Dont know what else to try. This bullshit never happened before

Comments
  • 3
    I suggest vasectomy :)
  • 5
    You're an idiot
  • 0
    Just tell her to take a pill after
  • 0
    @Hazarth she did read segment 10
  • 14
    Can you get a hand pregnant?
  • 14
  • 5
    If you have to post 11 reasons why it's not your fault, it means deep inside you know it's your fault and you try to convince yourself.
  • 3
    @MammaNeedHummus sexy blonde hand where he totally sleeps with.

    I did exiting the church before singing for years. Condoms suck.

    Maybe a little b2plane is exactly what you need in life
  • 0
    @cafecortado No. I stared at a wall analyzing what the fuck happened contemplating if its really my fault or if im going insane and overthinking. Trying to blame myself by force but cant find a reason to. These are the reasons i discovered after research and all of those reasons do not point at me being at fault
  • 1
    @retoor my hot blonde gf is more calm than i am becz she drank the Escapelle pill
  • 2
    @ScriptCoded hey she was already blonde

    Took ages finding a yellow one
  • 1
    Quit using second-hand condoms. I know your salary ain't great, but come on... Reconsider your expenses' cuts
  • 1
    …I should call her 😮‍💨
  • 1
    This guy rips (condoms)
  • 1
    I have noticed that it’s easy to break a condom hitting it from behind. Little rub on the ass or the thigh is all it takes.
    The only advice is you gotta check yourself before you wreck yourself.
    If you are a dad treat that shit like the honour it is.
  • 2
    @MammaNeedHummus FATALITY! FINISH HIM!
  • 2
    @ScriptCoded jokes have been fire lately. SC is fucking mozart.
  • 1
    congratulations on accidentally becoming a dad in nine months.

    Now you get to tell your kid he was an accident when he asks "dad why was I born?"
  • 1
    @Wisecrack she took emergency contraception pill within 20 minutes so my cum is thrown on the block list
  • 0
    @Wisecrack and even if it God forbid doesnt work we both agreed on abortion
  • 1
    @b2plane if you're gonna do an abortion you might as well add cannibalism for the metal factor, and become an absolute savage. EAT THE ABORTION YOU HEATHEN! EAT IT while doing 90 miles an hour on the highway and blasting 'for whom the bell tolls!'

    It's the only proper send off for your unborn.
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