I have not gotten a single Christmas call/card this year. Feels good :)

I dont like the hype around Christmas.

Rant of the day!

Had a good laugh on this one

[via https://twitter.com/ElleOhHell/...]

Normal gamer:
- How tf didn't he die?! It was a headshot!

Programmer:
- Fuck hitboxes.

when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated."

Does anyone else ever feel like they're too stupid to be a good programmer? Like some of the people here are very very intelligent. Meanwhile, I'm over here making a fucking 8% on a calculus exam. I just feel like I'm way too stupid to actually be good at this.

working with a team of all microcontroller "PROGRAMMERS", is already a fail.

Got the web design book bundle for my little one🤣

Finally here!

The future boys!

Getting married tomorrow!!!
Holy shit!!

I'm kind of scared actually. But in a good way 😄

And here I am, in the middle of the night, trying to figure out why my fucking tests don't run 😄

If a Pizza has the radius z and the height a, its volume consists of Pi*z*z*a!

That moment when you get hired and you abandoned your LinkedIn and your Portfolio Website.

(In science class)

Teacher: What are clouds made of?

Me: Servers, preferably Linux.

Teacher: ?

Your website looks great. I have told my secretary to send you your payment.

Wait, I forgot to check it on Internet Explorer. Give me a second let me check now.

Me: Sir, I suggest that you complete the payment before you proceed with any further tests!

,,,,*

I think I found my first Easter Egg!

Me: *desperately trying to finish a webpage before 5pm deadline*
Girlfriend: Why are you always so focused on your computer? You never pay attention to me.
Me: You know I have to work. Besides, you'll always be number 1 in my heart
Girlfriend: Aww that was cute. Okay I'll let you finish working
Me to me: ...arrays start at 0. *continues typing*

Disclaimer: this was stolen from /r/programmerhumor and I have no girlfriend

We lo race conditions ve

A request to all of you posting these feel-good rants about your past teachers.

Maybe shoot them a message to tell them how much you appreciated them, teaching is a very rough and thankless job for the most part.

It's funny how much it meant to some of my past teachers...

If I were in charge of the company's upcoming-required-password-change notification system, during the month of October users wouldn't get an email.

Instead, the phone would ring.

When they answer, at first there'd just be hissing and crackling.

Then after a few seconds, a kid's voice would whisper,

"Three daysss..."

How almost every S/O question looks

Get inside the classroom children.
But Sir, We can't find the class.
Huh?

Don’t worry about titles, instead aspire to be a better programmer.

Doctor : what's your blood group?
Developer : coffee

People.

I hate mondays. Everyone in the company is in a bad mood, nobody wants to work and the clients are annoying. Mondays should be abolished.

No one asks us developers about our mood and that we spent the weekend working instead of lazing around and having a party.

I have decided to avoid contact with clients and companies on Monday.

A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically

The GashlyCode Tinies

A is for Amy whose malloc was one byte short
B is for Basil who used a quadratic sort
C is for Chuck who checked floats for equality
D is for Desmond who double-freed memory
E is for Ed whose exceptions weren’t handled
F is for Franny whose stack pointers dangled
G is for Glenda whose reads and writes raced
H is for Hans who forgot the base case
I is for Ivan who did not initialize
J is for Jenny who did not know Least Surprise
K is for Kate whose inheritance depth might shock
L is for Larry who never released a lock
M is for Meg who used negatives as unsigned
N is for Ned with behavior left undefined
O is for Olive whose index was off by one
P is for Pat who ignored buffer overrun
Q is for Quentin whose numbers had overflows
R is for Rhoda whose code made the rep exposed
S is for Sam who skipped retesting after wait()
T is for Tom who lacked TCP_NODELAY
U is for Una whose functions were most verbose
V is for Vic who subtracted when floats were close
W is for Winnie who aliased arguments
X is for Xerxes who thought type casts made good sense
Y is for Yorick whose interface was too wide
Z is for Zack in whose code nulls were often spied

- Andrew Myers

I can't help to cringe every time I see this ad. I'm quite sure line 39 would cause some kind of error...