Details
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SkillsTakka-Tukka
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LocationGermany
Joined devRant on 10/29/2016
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I fucking did it!!!!!!!
I fucking passed my last exam!!!!!!!!!!!
It fucking took me 6 YEARS of college to finally graduate a 4 year college!!!!!!!!!!!
I fucking have to do my finishing thesis before i get my degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!fcuck you
I fucking suffered so fucking much!!!!!!!!!!!
Last fucking exam was databases 1 and i fucking passeD ON THE FIRST TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!lick my balls play with them
WTF?????????????????????
I fucking spilled blood to get here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!shuh
I fucking am still mentally stunned!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fucking I cannot wrap my fucking head around what just fucking happened!!!!!!!!!!
I fucking expected to fail and take another exam next week but I PASSED??? ON THE FIRST TRY?????????????
My fucking gpa is shit BUT I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IM DONE WITH STUDYING COLLEGE!!! FOR EVER!! FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE BRUH WTF THIS IS UNREAL IT FEELS LIKE I JUST SERVED THESE 25 YEARS OF PRISON AND NOW IM FINALLY GETTING OUT OF JAIL AFTER 25 FUCKING YEARS!! ALL MY LIFE I COULDNT DO SHJT I LOVED TO DO CAUSE I SACRIFICED MY LIFE TO SCHOOL. WAS IT WORTH IT? NO. FUCK THIS GOOFY AHH SHIT. I HOPE THIS DEGREE PAYS OFF CAUSE I DIDNT LEARN ALMOST SHIT IN HERE17 -
YELLED AT FOR 45 FUCKING MINUTES OVER OTHER PEOPLE’S FUCKUPS
IF YOU PIECES OF SHIT WANT ME TO DO SOMETHING, FUCKING SAY IT. WRITE IT THE FUCK DOWN IN THE FUCKING TICKET.
AND IF YOU WANT A FUCKING DEMO, SCHEDULE THE FUCKING THING, AND STOP FUCKING CANCELING THEM. DON’T BLAME ME WHEN IT’S YOUR FUCKING FINGER ON THE FUCKING CANCEL BUTTON EVERY. FUCKING. WEEK.
AND SERIOUSLY, DON’T FUCKING EXPECT ME TO DROP MY LAST FUCKING TICKET THE AFTERNOON BEFORE VACATION FOR SOME LOW-PRIOIRTY CRAP BECAUSE SUDDENLY IT’S ALL THE RAGE INSIDE YOUR TINY DUMBASS HEAD. BUT OH BOO FUCKING HOO, @ROOT DIDN’T DO WHAT I ASKED WHEN I WAS BEING A FUCKING MORON! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU FUCKING STUCK-UP IDIOT
AND FUCK BOZO THE CLOWN BOSS FOR BLAMING ME FOR THE FUCKING IDIOT’S BRUISED FUCKING EGO
FUCK THE LOT OF YOU39 -
Client: We need to add a field to the model that serves as a unique identifier
Dev: You already have one, it’s the _id property
Client: We want another! This one is for a task number so we can make a connection between the database record and our ERP.
Dev: Ah I see. I can add that for you. Is this truly a unique identifier or will you be using the same ERP identifier for multiple database records?
Client: I already said it’s a unique identifier. One ERP record to one database record, end of story! To do otherwise would be absolutely ridiculous! You should think for yourself before you ask silly questions.
Dev: My apologies I just want to make sure to clarify exactly what the requirements are.
**6 months later**
Client: HOW COME I CAN’T ASSIGN THE SAME UNIQUE IDENTIFIER TO MULTIPLE DATABASE RECORDS??? CAN’T PROGRAMMERS GET ANYTHING RIGHT EVER??
Dev: …14 -
A small bug is found.
Chad dev:
😎 *Exists*
> Writes a simple ad hoc solution in a few lines
> Self documenting code with constant run time
> No external dependencies needed
> Fixes the bug, easy to test and does not introduce any new issues
That guy nobody likes (AKA. regex simp coder):
🤡 'This can be "simplified" into oNE LiNe'
> Writes a long regex expression that has to line wrap the editor window several times
> Writes an essay in the comments to explain it's apparent brilliance to the peasant reader
> Exponential run time (bwahahah), excessive memory requirements
> Needs to import additional frameworks, requires more testing that will delay release schedule
> Also fixes bug but the software now needs 2x ram to run and is 3x slower
> Really puts the "simp" in simplified, but not the way you would expect26 -
Until today, I haven’t worked on a react app or front end project in about 5 months.
Hoooo boy. What a fucking rollercoaster ride. One minute you’re doing some slick shit you learned how to do from working on backend projects, the next you’re screaming at your linter and pissing on your keyboard.
2/5 stars do not recommend.
I’m out.
*ascends into the cloud*8 -
!rant && rant
I've been doing random HTML/CSS/JS crap since I was 11 (I'm 20 now). And worked with NodeJS/Swift/Java/Typescript for the past 4 years. For some reason, I've always been interested in public transit and the combination between public transit and Development seemed magical to me. I've tried making Departure time apps and trip planners for a few years now. And for that you need open data, for which we have a national data source and a Google Group for support with that.
I quit my study two years ago after a year doing nothing and I was on the edge of getting into depression because I didn't do anything useful for two years. Didn't see myself do anything useful in the next few years apart from some random dev crap (still public transit related).
About half a year ago I ranted on that Google Group about shit being not efficient (weird standards, weird documentation but mostly lack thereof).
For some reason a business saw that rant and sent me an email about two months ago and told me they 'potentially' had 'some' work for me. So I had some really informal conversations with that business but I still was very insecure about myself (had some shitty experience with tons of unfinished projects) and I was worried that they had higher expectations for me than what I could give them.
A week later I received an e-mail with a proposal for an actual, full-time job as a back-end developer and obviously took the opportunity.
I started a month ago with a month-long probation period and after three weeks told me I had passed the probation period.
I'm a super happy boy right now. I got a job, being super insecure, without any certifications, without finishing school (Everyone in the Netherlands tells you you NEED a diploma to get a job), more than double minimum wage (minimum wage is quite high in the Netherlands), and most important, at a business that does a lot of public transit stuff.
Apparently ranting about stuff, not finishing your school and being depressed gives you a well-paid job. :)5 -
Fun fact!
Xiaomi has a restriction where you're only allowed a bootloader unlock key one week after you've requested it. No, not a week after you've bought the phone. Not a week after you created an account and generated so much usage data that it would be stupid to doubt you're a genuine user.
No, you have to wait one week after installing their fucking desktop app and getting past some arbitrary point in the process.
Seriously, how much shit can this company pull with a straight face? At this point they're just sabotaging me, it's not even for any reason.16 -
Interviewer: Welcome, Mr X. Thanks for dropping by. We like to keep our interviews informal. And even though I have all the power here, and you are nothing but a cretin, let’s pretend we are going to have fun here.
Mr X: Sure, man, whatever.
I: Let’s start with the technical stuff, shall we? Do you know what a linked list is?
X: (Tells what it is).
I: Great. Can you tell me where linked lists are used?
X:: Sure. In interview questions.
I: What?
X: The only time linked lists come up is in interview questions.
I:: That’s not true. They have lots of real world applications. Like, like…. (fumbles)
X:: Like to implement memory allocation in operating systems. But you don’t sell operating systems, do you?
I:: Well… moving on. Do you know what the Big O notation is?
X: Sure. It’s another thing used only in interviews.
I: What?! Not true at all. What if you want to sort a billion records a minute, like Google has to?
X: But you are not Google, are you? You are hiring me to work with 5 year old PHP code, and most of the tasks will be hacking HTML/CSS. Why don’t you ask me something I will actually be doing?
I: (Getting a bit frustrated) Fine. How would you do FooBar in version X of PHP?
X: I would, er, Google that.
I: And how do you call library ABC in PHP?
X: Google?
I: (shocked) OMG. You mean you don’t remember all the 97 million PHP functions, and have to actually Google stuff? What if the Internet goes down?
X: Does it? We’re in the 1st world, aren’t we?
I: Tut, tut. Kids these days. Anyway,looking at your resume, we need at least 7 years of ReactJS. You don’t have that.
X: That’s great, because React came out last year.
I: Excuses, excuses. Let’s ask some lateral thinking questions. How would you go about finding how many piano tuners there are in San Francisco?
X: 37.
I: What?!
X: 37. I googled before coming here. Also Googled other puzzle questions. You can fit 7,895,345 balls in a Boeing 747. Manholes covers are round because that is the shape that won’t fall in. You ask the guard what the other guard would say. You then take the fox across the bridge first, and eat the chicken. As for how to move Mount Fuji, you tell it a sad story.
I: Ooooooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyy. Right, tell me a bit about yourself.
X: Everything is there in the resume.
I: I mean other than that. What sort of a person are you? What are your hobbies?
X: Japanese culture.
I: Interesting. What specifically?
X: Hentai.
I: What’s hentai?
X: It’s an televised art form.
I: Ok. Now, can you give me an example of a time when you were really challenged?
X: Well, just the other day, a few pennies from my pocket fell behind the sofa. Took me an hour to take them out. Boy was it challenging.
I: I meant technical challenge.
X: I once spent 10 hours installing Windows 10 on a Mac.
I: Why did you do that?
X: I had nothing better to do.
I: Why did you decide to apply to us?
X: The voices in my head told me.
I: What?
X: You advertised a job, so I applied.
I: And why do you want to change your job?
X: Money, baby!
I: (shocked)
X: I mean, I am looking for more lateral changes in a fast moving cloud connected social media agile web 2.0 company.
I: Great. That’s the answer we were looking for. What do you feel about constant overtime?
X: I don’t know. What do you feel about overtime pay?
I: What is your biggest weakness?
X: Kryptonite. Also, ice cream.
I: What are your salary expectations?
X: A million dollars a year, three months paid vacation on the beach, stock options, the lot. Failing that, whatever you have.
I: Great. Any questions for me?
X: No.
I: No? You are supposed to ask me a question, to impress me with your knowledge. I’ll ask you one. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
X: Doing your job, minus the stupid questions.
I: Get out. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.
All Credit to:
http://pythonforengineers.com/the-p...89 -
Manager: I read an article today
Dev: oh here we go….
Manager: We must pivot to only functional programming, which means only using functions instead of classes
Dev: Actually functional programming is a bit more nuanced tha—
Manager: Any use of classes going forward is not allowed. Everything must use functions! Classes are an outdated way of programming, using classes is why we continue to miss our deadlines. Functional programming is lean, classes are waterfall.
Dev: What about the libraries we use? Many of those use classes
Manager: Wrap them in a function then, that way they are pure which is one of the requirements of functional programming. You would know that if you spent as much personal time as I do keeping up with the times.34 -
Sometimes getting tickets from the clients feels like a Sherlock Holmes adventure. Figuring out what the hell they meant, tracking down resources that should be included in the ticket, so much fun. I need to buy a pipe and a spyglass.6
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Hang with me! This is *not* a math shitpost, I repeat, it is NOT a math shitpost, not entirely anyway.
It appears there is for products of two non-trivial factors, a real number n (well a rational number anyway) such that p/n = i (some number in the set of integers), whos factor chain is apparently no greater than floor(log(log(p))**2)-2, and whos largest factor is never greater than p^(1/4).
And that this number is at least derivable, laboriously with the following:
where p=a*b
https://pastebin.com/Z4thebha
And assuming you have the factors of p/z = jkl..
then instead of doing
p/(jkl..) = z
you can do
p-(jkl) to get the value of [result] whos index is a-1
Getting the actual factor tree of p/z is another matter, but its a start.
Edit: you have to provide your own product.
Preferably import Decimal first.3 -
I was once called in by HR because i ended an email with an exclamation mark. I kid you not. She said i was being stand-offish and it was rude.
It has been almost 4 years since i left that company but i am still quite traumatized.16 -
New phone after 5+ years and it's fucking awesome.
Successfully avoid American and Chinese stuff by going with a Korean brand.
And I fucking love Android. The kind of feature advancement that has happened in past so many years is outstanding.
The amount of customisation options available for the users are beyond one can utilise to fullest.
And my favourite feature is dynamic lock screen pictures every-single-time I unlock. I fucking love it. Makes me cheer up with joy. Very similar to Bing Wallpapers for Windows, but more dynamic.
Lately, I have been hearing from Apple users, that iPhone lacking a ton of basic features, apps not supporting functionalities, and we all know the overall advancement in Apple ecosystem.
While this post was more about sharing my experience with my new phonw than iPhone comparison but let's face it, the reason Apple went bonkers with the first iPhone launch was the app capabilities which led to a larger developer community building apps for iPhone while Android wasn't even born yet.
This is where Google is trying to capture the market now. More devs > more apps > more users > more devs and repeat.24 -
I have to build a database migration that generates user handles. The user handles are unique within an organization. The user can change them. The auto generated handles are either the first name + last name, or the business name depending on which user type it is. Unless it would be a duplicate. Duplicates auto increment if the handle is taken. The character limit for a user handle is the same length as first name plus last name so I have to check for possible overflow if I add digits. I also have to see if the generated name is in the DB already because a user could have custom entered the result of the auto generation.
This has to be programmed async. The DB driver is using a transaction but multiple calls have to be made to check if the generated handle exists for that organization. Also I have to check the migration script itself for possible duplicates. 3/4 of the users have a handle and with the scale there will definitely be duplicate names.
My idea is if there is a collision, use a UUID and let the users pick something nicer next time they log in. Business says “Reeeeeee!!!! The users shouldn’t see a UUID!!! You can do this!!!” Absurd uniqueness requirements. Absurd backfill procedure. Absurd business rules.2 -
So a porn company just bought the vidme domain and set up a redirect for all old vidme urls.
As a result, many websites like the Washington Post got porn videos embedded on a couple places.
This is so fucking hilarious. Maybe there's a slim chance they learn the lesson and stop shoving shitty autoplaying videos into their news articles.
https://vice.com/en/article/...7 -
A BIG SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @theKarlisK
He is the real MVP.
We both spent the weekend to setup OpenVPN + Pi-Hole on Oracle free tier.
He hand held me through the entire process, was super patient with my silly queries and in fact explained me everything so well that it got imprinted in my mind.
And ofc, he was super quick to debug and resolve issues and handed me all the commands for quick execution.
Super glad to have worked with him on this project.11 -
I was working on a project lately where I needed to convert an array of bits (1s and 0s) to floating numbers.
It is quite straightforward how to convert an array of bits to the simple integer (i.e. [101] = 5). But what about the numbers like `3.1415` (𝝿) or `9.109 × 10⁻³¹` (the mass of the electron in kg)?
I've explored this question a bit and came up with a diagram that explains how the float numbers are actually stored.
There is also an interactive version of this diagram available here https://trekhleb.dev/blog/2021/....
Feel free to experiment with it and play around with setting the bits on and off and see how it influences the final result.13 -
seeing these things make me very uncomfortable, I feel like reaching into the software and wiping it off, makes me wonder how much of a mess this npm ecosystem is going to become, I really dont know much of how these things work. I figured the issue could probably be the same across languages, libraries sitting atop libraries until the whole thing becomes unmanageable. I'll stop rambling now
that's the installation of expo-cli8 -
!dev
Still haven't got a schedule for my master thesis defense after 2 months. The normal deadline is 1 month.
My professor is ignoring my follow up emails, even after the head of the program urging him to finish the review.
I feel discriminated as this didn't happen to other students that worked under him before.
I am job searching now, what if a job offer came but I still couldn't get a graduation certificate because of my delayed defense.
Will the university willing to compensate for the time loss not being able to work?
Maybe I should start finding out how to hire a lawyer in case I have to sue the uni.
😡3 -
Since roughly 981 Malaysians are using my app now for helping the needy. So I decided to send this message to those who use my platform , to remind them to stay strong.
Because I begin to see people are fed and slowly I believe someday we can do a better job than our government.8 -
Our business partner just tried to deliver a motivational pep-talk to the dev team that ended up sounding more like a sermon. Instead of hearing we did a good job, we heard we could be doing a better job. Never mind that the project is rushed, lacking funding and built on an unstable codebase inherited from a proof of concept demo. I just lost all respect for the guy, who I thought appreciated how hard we've been working. Apparently he's just another administrative cog who wants to climb the ladder of success while standing on other people's hard work.
Right, no more extra miles for this project. Time to just coast on and see it sink in its own excrement. -
Every single diagramming tool.
All the SaaS ones are either way too limited in function, or proprietary vendor-locked.
All the FOSS/desktop ones have a 90s UX experience.
I really want to make a great, comfortable-to-use diagramming tool which just directly uses SVG as the file format, but without the "FUCK IT DOESNT ALIGN CORRECTLY AND WHY IS THIS ARROW BEHIND THE REST" experience...
But I know deep down that it's hard work, and I'll probably get stuck delivering the gazillionth lackluster, bugged diagramming app.20