True story bro 😂

Internet Explorer:
You type a local IP without the protocol.
It doesn't add http automatically.
It doesn't add https automatically.
IT TRIES TO SEARCH IT ON BING

I freaking hate IE

This one made me giggle....lol 😂

Stop sending passwords in plain text via email. Just stop already. If you don't know how to implement a secure alternative, hire a fucking consultancy to assist you.

Fuck. The next time I purchase from you and I get my password in plain text anywhere, I'm immediately demanding a refund and taking my money elsewhere.

Just fucking stop.

I told my colleague today that he didn't pass the Turing Test.
He did not understand.
Which proves my point.

Kind of sad but true.
1) "If you don't love your job, take a home loan".
You will start loving it.

2) Take another loan, you will start loving your boss as well.

3) Get married. You will start loving your office too.

Source: LinkedIn

But can't stop anyone from ranting. :/

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Programming: Doing many different things numerous times and expecting a single result.

This cracks me up ever time 😂😂

The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%.

Ok so 10 yrs ago:-

Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.

*I create the thing and submit it*

<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>

<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>

<I grab a seat>

Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.

Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????

Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.

<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>

Check this out

Get it

THIS IS LFE

Phone rings, IT guy next to me answer. I didn't listen what the user said.

IT: Hi, what can I do for you?
User: ...
IT: Ok, try with 123456
User: ...
IT: What's the name of the network?
User: ...
IT: Hmm, I don't know that network
User: ...
IT: HOW THE @#$% WOULD I KNOW YOUR HOME WIFI PASSWORD?!!!

Which way did the programmer go?
-He went data way.

*cries in corner*

Am I the only person who thinks Linux is best for only servers and similar usages? It being a primary OS is more of a pain than it's worth.

I'm a developer, not a project manager. Why am I doing project requirements gathering?

😂😂😂😂😂

International quality of code measurement? WTFs/minute

Just realized my girlfriend uses me in place of a rubber duck for debugging.

Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"

Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."

Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."

So I'm the bad guy now? Just because I won't share my fucking codes to my classmates...

I feel that people are quick to blame PHP for a lot of things. But come on, you have to admit it has the most straightforward debugging workflow:

Take a ritual knife out of your desk drawer

Sacrifice some blood to the PHP gods

Clean the knife

Most hilarious bug I found in Windows 10. 😂😂😂

Apparently "Want to meet my rubber duck?" is an acceptable phrase only in the developer community.

!rant

I just figured out you can double tap rants to give them a ++.

Real HR policy ...

HR Manager in Heaven!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Manager was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was greeted by God himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said God. "

"Well, What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules."

And with that God put the HR Manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the hell wt beautiful golf course. And a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. they talked about old times.
She met the Devil who was really a nice guy and She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave.

Everybody waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found God waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and God came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and in heaven. Now u must choose ur eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So God escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and said:
...
...
...
....
....

"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee".😁😁😁
☝dedicated to all companies

Watching Google's keynote, every time they say "OK Google" my idiotic phone wakes up and starts listening...

Pixel.

iPhone by Google.

At least it's not a comic San Francisco😀