Been looking around ways to improve devrant's user experience a little, Idk whether you guys like it or not.. Just a suggestion 😂

At my study's final exams, I coded a system with login and everything included.

Showed it at the final delivery:
Fake client: awesome! So how do I logout?
Me: 😐
Me: 😶
Me: 😁
Me: 😓
Me: 😭

Yeah, you couldn't logout.

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

Good doggo

Apple: Born to be fruit

Linux/Unix: Born to be root

Windows: Born to re boot

*SSH's into VPS*
*Starts doing some general maintainance (updating, checking the logs etc)*
*runs the who command for fun*
*NOTICES THAT THERE"S ANOTHER ACTIVE SESSION*
*FURIOUSLY STARTS TO TRY AND LOOK HOW THAT USER MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN IN (root)*

*Goes one terminal to the left after a few minutes to see if I can use that one as well*
*notices an active and forgotten SSH session to that VPS*

I am stupid.

Do you people know that problem, where you sit down and code for 20 minutes, and suddenly it's 4 hours later?

Me: so, ifconfig, what is my gateway?

ifconfig: [ip address]

Me: nmap, what is this IP address?

nmap: it's a network switch with an open telnet port.

Me: what happens if I connect to it?

switch: WHAT IS THE PASSWORD?!?!

Me: is it blank?

switch: correct. what do you want to do?

Me: can I look at all the IP and MAC addresses on the network?

switch: WHAT IS THE ADMIN PASSWORD?!?!

Me: is it... admin?

switch: correct. Here's everyone that's connected to the network: [400+ IPs and MACs]

Me: ok python, would you filter through these and tell me what manufacturer each one belongs to?

python: sure.
[~50 manufacturer lookups later]
python: there's a bunch of apple product, a bunch of miscellaneous laptop and printer manufacturers, and some raspberry pis.

Me: raspberry pis?

python: yep. about 20 of them.

Me: What happens if I connect to one?

rpi: WHAT IS THE PASSWORD?!?!

Me: raspberry?

rpi: correct. what do you want to do?

Me: can I make you do my bidding in the background when you aren't being used?

rpi: sure, sounds fine.

I love ignorant sysadmins.

Ever send a message and realize you ended the sentence with a semicolon?..

Whoops;

Javascript is wild

The most under-stated job description

There WAS a time, when I was small, I made a Minecraft server , and asked my friends to join my server at 127.0.0.1

Coding Etiquette 101:

TURN THAT FUCKING DARK THEME ON!!!

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

My stressball went on vacation

Was attending an AI meetup in Amsterdam yesterday and saw a fellow devRanter!

devRant just hit 50,000 downloads on Android (fancy new store badge, yay!). Thank you everyone for being part of this community and spreading the good word! @dfox and I have some fun new features in the works, exciting times!

Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.

This is just sad

If you don't know SQL, then just mention NoSQL in your CV.

What devrant taught me:

Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates gnu+linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😀😄😙

Girl: I love guys who are rich.
Me: I paid for sublime and winrar.
Girl: Your place or mine??

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

Forever Alone :'(

Anyone's company affected by sheer idiocy?

I don't like anything political on here, but this is affecting us all, even non-US people.
Today is the day, take a stance, fight for NetNeutrality

age++;

js validation

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.