Types of headache 😂

Recruiter: And I found your devRant account, it’s @brod right? very interesting stuff.
Me: ...

1969 vs 2017

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

(In science class)

Teacher: What are clouds made of?

Me: Servers, preferably Linux.

Teacher: ?

Even the train knows windows sucks.

Go home computer you're drunk

CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"

CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"

Sometimes you run your code,
it doesn't work, so you run it again,
it works

Sometimes you open your fridge,
no food inside, so you close and open it again,
still no food inside

Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water

Watched this movie called Unthinkable where the guy who is supposed to defuse the bomb is typing gibberish into Excel 😂😂😂

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I repeat

Will the bug in my code please stand up?

I think we have a problem here.

*music intensifies*

My school's mascot is the duck, but I like to think that someone had some heavy code to fix up and just took over the campus

I wish my code could smile back at me and tell me I'm doing a good job

Every dev needs a hug sometimes. Have you hugged a dev today?

Co-worker Pranks #281: Write a program to capture keyboard input and instead output "fucking" after every "the" they type.

i.e. Can you push the fucking most recent commits

Do you want the fucking paperwork today, bossman

I can't do that today, the fucking coffee machine is not working

> Google Drive Version Control best Version Control

As a google fan boy this makes me very uncomfortable...

HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

Had my first coding interview today, and to be honest I didn't really nail it. Its surprisingly difficult to think clearly and critically when you have two strangers staring at you while you code. This is the 4th step of the interview process, hopefully my overall performance through the process is enough to get me through. Wish me luck (pretty plz)!

My new webcam works with both pc AND notebook!

If you ask a question in a forum and figure out the answer yourself, for the love of God, please post the fricking answer.

"Never mind" is not at all helpful. Ugh. Stop being selfish peasants.

When you fucked up, but everything is working.

Credits to my son.

My creativity blackout is so great that I don't even know what to rant about.

I have this problem.

The future boys!

Whatever you do, NEVER EVER use lame commit messages like "updated". Your future self will thank you.

When you are programming and you press some random keybind and you spend the next hour trying to figure out what you did 😐