Got the best cake for my 30th birthday. Only if my wife understood what language I program with. I still love her though!

Installed VS Code, have to say, i like it a lot. Even though it's a Microsoft product.

My new favorite editor.

My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

Who knew, Usb and rj45 are the same width? Not me after spending 10 mins trying to work out why mouse not working.

Android development is such an enormous realm. It's simply incredible.

Even after more than 2 years of programming android apps, I can experience a different exception every day!

Rofl : during the movie.
Source: Linux inside

Excellent Database table design...

"ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException"

University highlight

Professor: I uploaded 25 C exercises with a 3 week deadline at eclass.

*4 hours later* Me: I completed the exercises.

Professor: ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ O'RLY?

Me: Let me show you

???

Professor : Feel free to skip class for the rest of the month

Well played!

When you're getting paid by the hour instead of by the job.

Source: UNILAD Tech

Sorting algorithms visualized

Wife: You never listen to me!
Me: Have you tried port 8080?

Finalising versions like
v2.41-Final
v2.41-Final-rev2
v2.41-Final-rev2.1
...

When people find out the hard truth

W...w...wha...whaaat?!

I'm almost 29 and only have finished high school. I never new what I wanted to do until 7 years ago. Software engineering and development.

It took me a little while an some effort to find a employer who sees my potentials and is willing to invest in me.

Two weeks ago I decided to finally go back to school again (self study). Last week my boss told me he is proud and willing to share the costs.
Today my books arrived.

I am so excited and nervous!! November 5th (also my birthday) will be the first day of school.

😂😂😂😂😂

Dude! I have this amazing idea for a website! It's like a social network but for videos!
- uh like youtube?
No! Totally different because in this social network you could share the videos with your friends.
- so... like youtube
No man! Cause you could also rate and comment the videos!
- like youtube?
No! You're just not getting it man!
-...

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

Finally have the home office I've always wanted, with only a few more things left to do in order to consider it finished.

Power company loves me.

Wallet hates me.

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling in the mud with a pig; after a few minutes you realize the pig likes it.

Explain the movie Inception to a programmer.....
Basically, when you run a VM inside another VM, inside another VM, inside another VM…, everything runs real slow!

Made me laugh a little :D

Client: My mouse is working backwards
me: *rotates mouse 180 degrees*
Client: Thanks! You even brought the buttons back!

Got promoted to senior software engineer today! :D

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

First thing this morning I heard my boss had taken some PSDs to a client today. I thought it was a bit weird because he doesn't have a laptop. Midday I got a call to say all my PSDs were corrupted:

"I'm with the client now. We're very unhappy, we can't get your files to open."
"Oh, right. They should be fine. What version of Photoshop are you using?"
"The latest."
"Okay, what's the error?"
"There isn't one."
"Okay, so it's freezing?"
"No, we can't see the files at all."
"Which laptop are you using?"
"The Nexus."
"The what?"
"That tablet thing."

So after about 20 minutes we figured out he's copied the PSDs and a shortcut to Photoshop on to a USB stick. Then plugged the USB into a USB to micro USB cable and stuck that in an Android Nexus. Expecting to open Photoshop.exe and the PSDs.

I don't mind people being confused with technology but when it's your own boss, who doesn't even bother to let you know anything, then phones up and tells you off you just want to strangle him.

Got hired!