The student assistant gave me a half point penalty for writing down to much comments! Direct translation:
To much of this kind of comments is not needed, the code itself is clear on its own.

Dumbest feature request was to hide log out button so that people do not leave the website 😂

If Windows gets honest..

Teacher: Your program has to be at least 2000 lines long.

-_-

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

I have a casual retail job and I need to sell this... It really hurts me.

My boss was getting upset about me not letting him know where I was. So I created a flow that would email him automatically if I was in the office or not by a certain time.

So, my phone's OS has this option for selecting the vibration pattern when my phone rings

Typical Google! :P

Send nodes

just built my first ever pc... took me 4 full hours because i was being really careful since i was terrified of fucking something up, but it turned out great!

My company

I recently met a young fella (14yo) playing League of Legends. He asked:
- What do you do for a living?
- I'm a programmer, do you know anything about programming?
- I don't, actually.

Apparently he was playing from a LAN Gaming center 'cause he didn't have a computer at home (his computer had broken and these Lan centers are pretty affordable).
I figured I could explain to him what was it and what super powers you could get from it. Turns out I recommended a JS course in codecademy and now he goes to the LAN center every day to study programming (he got really into it!).
Now he always pings me with questions about JS and apparently he's learning a ton! He had almost no English skills too (we're Brazilian), and because most of the material in the internet is in English he found himself some free English courses and he's now taking them!

Knowledge is free on the internet and I guess he's just realized that.

Not exactly a rant guys, just figured it was a nice story to tell :)
#TeachAKidHowToCode

FOR FUCK'S SAKE

My verdict on display ports? From 1 to 10 10 being horrible as fuck I'd say it's about the same amount of times my fucking monitor went black and I almost had a siezure.

This may have nothing to do with programming but honestly, it fucking sucks. I've read so much online about how DP is better but no. I've never had a problem with HDMI, but HERE COMES ALONG THE MAGICAL DP. I was playing a FPS game and my left monitor went black over and over and I almost had a siezure. So I umplug the DP cable and my game fucking switches to my right monitor which is portrait mode, AND IT WASN'T EVEN SIDEWAYS GAMING... IT WAS PORTRAIT ON ONE FUCKING MONITOR... PORTRAIT.

I HAD TO PLAY THE REST OF THE GAME LIKE THAT. IN PORTRAIT MODE. THE DOOR FRAMES IN THE GAME WERE SO SKINNY IT LOOKED LIKE PAPER COULDN'T FIT THROUGH IT.

Life would be much easier if i had the source code!

I came early today to the office

Found the office locked

Need fingerprint of Project Manager/CTO

With my mouth saying ah.. i blew hot air into the finger print sensor, 5 to 6 times

There u go.office door opened with welcome message

just hacked the system

Genius me

Don't be afraid to approach companies that aren't actively hiring. No-one will look negatively at a positive attitude

"History is never made by those who use Incognito browsers" - Anonymous

FUCKING HELL
My sister has that Vaio laptop from 2012 and she wanted me to "clean it up"... You get the deal. I ran the bios and booted it up from my external SSD setup so I don't have to bother with her bloody Windows fucking 7. When I'm finished deleting some garbage she managed to accumulate on her disk I wanted to switch back to Windows to properly uninstall bloatware she had. AND THEN OT FUCKING STRUCK ME. Can't load bios. F keys don't do shit. Delete doesn't either. The bloody "ASSIST" button is as useless as always. Since the computer is so slow I'm gonna waste a whole day trying to fix it and in the end she will be like: "oh, it took you so long!". Why Vaio, why can't you just get over the fact that some people actually use BIOS and make it somehow ACCESSIBLE? It's the same shit every time I try to do anything with that laptop. I'm always getting shit on from Sony as if I paid them to fuck me. One last time. VAIO, FUCK YOU.

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

Every single time:

Me: CTRL+S
Sublime Text: Would you like to purchase a license now?
Me: Cancel
Me: CTRL+S (again)

Pretty sure the last one is not needed, but can't help!

Don't wanna 😒

Friend: Hey, can you fix my laptop? The hard drive is almost full.

Me: (Looking through his folders) Maybe it's because of this. Why do you have 3000+ files in your downloads folder? Maybe I should delete some of this.

Friend: No no, please don't touch the downloads folder, I have some very important documents there.

Me: Why don't you move them to a separate folder then? You should organize the ones you actually need and delete the rest. This folder is a complete mess.

Friend: No no, the problem is not the downloads folder, there must be something else. Can't you just uninstall some programs to free up space?

Me: I could, but I don't know which ones you actually use.

Friend: What? You should know!! You studied computer science for this!!

Me: First of all, there is not a single class in the whole 4 years of university called "How to uninstall programs and free up space on 128GB hard drives of shitty €400 computers". Second of all, I don't know why you were expecting me to find a magic button on your laptop that immediately frees up all the space in a hard drive without actually deleting anything. That's not how computers work, you know.

Friend: Hey if you didn't want to help me you could have said so in the first place.

Me: FML

Best one...

Well said mate... well said...☝

Never got the chance to meet my company's CTO... So I started meeting other company's CTO.

Well yeah. He is right!

R: " I'm not hiring him, he use spaces over tabs. "

I fucking love silicon valley

Popup: "Do you enjoy using our app"

No, because I know you want to trick me into reviewing your app

!rant
Who needs Photoshop or Sketch , when you have code.

Trying out some Generative type.
Still in love with Processing.