That’s just odd!

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

What do we say to writing unit tests?

Not today.

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Those are actually real suggestions. I'm not even mad, that's amazing.

With the recent attacks by governments and corporations on our freedom, I feel like this is more relevant than ever.

"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." (Benjamin Franklin)

t3315 okay

Human nature in a nutshell....

I'm never making fun of people who go to Stack Overflow for answers ever again.

I mean, have you guys seen this? A leap-second causing 100% CPU use in MySQL, and a dude figures it out like it was nothing, and provides a quick solution!

https://stackoverflow.com/a/...

Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

*Build project*
*Build failed*
- Arrrg! Lets try cleaning first.
*Clean project*
*Clean failed*
- ...
- What the FUCK! How does the clean fucking project fail?!? Just delete fucking output you pile of shit!

All day, everyday.

customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

One of my friend does this legendary thing in exam😂

Swear to god in going to pole drive the next person who asks if my watch is an Apple watch into the fucking ground...

😂😂Wrap it all up in try/catch

Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.

Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.

Every js dev I know

One of my friends purchased a bootable USB of ubuntu for around 40 USD.

1969 vs 2017

We are in 2017! :)

Oh Oh !!! Today is the 8 bit register overflow day....Happy 8 bit register overflow day to all 16bit registers..

\(+_+)/

GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.

From a sad true story.

When frontend is ready before backend

During a software presentation for a group of clients i said:
"I reworked the interface for you. Now it's idiot-proof."

Resigning tomorrow, and I can't sleep. Thrilled to finally end the slavery at a company that pays me half of the market price. Exciting day coming up..

Today.

Last night someone detonated an improvised nail bomb at a concert venue in downtown Manchester. 22 dead and 59 injured (many life threatening).

I'm working from home as my home is listed as a safe haven.

I'm not sure how much, if any, work I'll get done.

If you're in Manchester and need anything let me know.

It's all very much process:

Check everyone I know is ok
List house as safe space
Buy food
Keep passing information around to those who need it

No real time to think about it, just stay in the "response" mode.

I am at a loss for words. This JavaScript powers the login of a company's intranet

😁😁!!‌