Worst passwords of 2017

buzzword translations:

"cloud" -> someones computer

"big data" -> lots of somewhat irrelevant data

"ai" -> if if if if if if if if if if if if if else

"algorithm" -> something that works but you don't know why

"secure" -> https://

"cyber security" -> kali linux + black hoodie

"innovation" -> adding something completely irrelevant such as making a poop emoji talk

"blockchain" -> we make lots of backups

"privacy" -> we store your data, we just don't tell you about it

The Power of Autocorrect

Writing an important update email to a very strict senior manager named Denis, with whom the previous encounters were also uncomfortable.

About to click send, but thought to read it once.
Imagine what autocorrect did...

D became P

I conclude it was a lucky day.

Literally xD

How does a DJ delete 'bass' table?

DROP bass

How ironic.

He was ahead of his time 😎

You always need to remind yourself that where you began :)

!Rant
my dad message me 7 am, with spec on a raspberry he got and the question if python was similar to C (he programmed C, 20 years or so ago.)

my responde: "I will set up a git for you, and we can learn python together"
dad: "what is a git?"

p.s love my dad :D

X: Can you link my Facebook account with the website?

Me: Yes. Can.

X: Good. I want to update website using Facebook since I know how to use Facebook well.

Me: 💀

Someday I will answer this question to my kids...

My managar refers to applications we are building as "codes". So fucking annoying.

Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.

I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.

"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go

"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation

"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!

"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.

And many more.

Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)

I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....