I really hate search engines sometimes

Oh hell no

"We care about your privacy [...]"

That's why we make it ultra inconvenient to turn off all of our advertising trackers and give you a broken list of on/off sliders that are slow as fuck. Also, why not just press the 'accept all' at the top of the page? See that big green button? Yeah green is good let's just press it and get this over with right?

Oh and that 'deny all' button? Yeah, a shame nobody actually put some programming into that thing, why not just press the green button next to it? You're only making it harder for yourself y'know...

Not me, but a colleague questioned himself for a while over this one. He simply forgot a semicolon when doing some server maintenance:

sudo yum remove application1 sudo yum remove application2

This didn't just remove application1 and 2, it removed sudo and yum too. One slightly embarrassing call to the ops team later, we had to replace the box.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should automate your server maintenance!

FOR FUCK SAKE...

The same fucking guy that said Java and JavaScript is the same thing tried inserting RAM into the PCIe slot twice! It doesn't even look like it will fit at first sight.

Programmer at an eye test...

Dear Web developers,
Please don't user adblock-blocker, because if tye content you provide is really good, we will use developer tool to hide the dialog, if not, we just go to another website.

Regards,
ordinary web user

I've always hated cubicles and wanted an open office....until I sat next to the loudest eater in recorded history.

Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!

Even though that's all true...

app.rate++;

When someone touches my screen

"The best thing about a boolean is even if you are wrong, you are only off by a bit." ~ Anonymous

Lesson #2731 - A backup on the same device is not a backup.

Good rule...print it out and hang it up!

Scratching my head for an hour because a function wasn't being called. Checked my backend server and all the logs.

Then I realised I commented out the function call. 😠😭😭😞

Finding this buried as a joke...

My friend once told me an incident.

One day he was using Ubuntu and his 10 years old niece, who was only familiar with Windows, saw him using terminal.
She then said this, in an amused tone:

Oh my god Ubuntu is really smart. In Windows I have to point to things to make it understand. But here we can talk to the computer and it obeys?

I think she's right !! :)

Linux is like black hole. Once in, never out !!

Stupid users gonna be stupid.

marriage programmed!

Had a request from a client once, "I'd like that our site supports only IE10 and above. However if the visitor uses older IE version, say IE6, things should look and work the same as IE10".

TFW when just an hour of peer programming solve all your problems that have been bogging you down for a week.

"When you have a problem you can't solve, just google it. If you don't find another person that has encountered the same problem/error as you, you're doing something wrong."

- Software Engineering teacher, 2016

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

Every programmers life

My setup which I rarely use because I almost always work on the go -.- #freelancerProblems

Programming is like writing a book... except when you miss a single comma on page 126, the whole thing makes no sense.

How do I explain to my PM that I don't want to come into the office because I code better half naked surrounded by soda cans and several layers of cheeto dust

A normal person believes a kilobyte is 1000 bytes, a coder believes a kilometer is 1024 meters.
-Unknown

We want this <sarcasm> tag w3c 😀