when you check the commits to see who wrote shitty code

That moment when you find that sexier than nudes

After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..

I decided to start a new web project tonight. I'm a serial starter-never-finisher, but I thought, "No @AnonymousGuy, you'll work on that android game that's genuinely almost releasable aside from the shitty makeshift UI you gave it while learning Unity."

Fuck yeah. Motivated, I picked up my laptop and put it on my lap. I grabbed my phone, opened DevRant, spent 2 hours reading rants, commenting, +1'ing, and looked down at my laptop. Put it back on the floor. I'm too tired now.

Fuck me and my total lack of self-discipline. 😑

This is Great...

If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.

In fact just make a virus at this point.

to the guy who writes indented IF statements all one liners and brackets removed
please fuck yourself

Can't find the remote?
Let me just ssh into my tv...

Whoever invented glossy screens for laptops should be shot! I can't get in the zone for coding while staring into a freaking mirror!!

Visual Crappy-Fuckin Studio is busy doing some SHIT!!!!!!

Just taught a neural network to have a polite conversation. It might as well be a goldfish flopping on a keyboard, but hey, it's something...

Client: "What's our strategy for migrating from Angular1 to Angular2?"

Spotify >>>>>>>>>> fucking apple music.

Used apple music for 11 days. Can't use it anymore.

Rant:
I start a phone project and get an error during debugging
I look up the error and learn that its a visual studio issue
I try uninstalling visual studio and fail
I try reinstalling visual studio and fail
I format the machine and reinstall everything
I run the project and get the exact same error
I later learn that it was not an error but a system message unrelated to the problem

Recipe for a Great Programmer:

Ingredients:
-Books for a computer science curriculum from a top university
-Computer
-Headphones
-Internet
-Stress ball
-Pillow
-Lighter fluid
-Food

Directions:

1. Cover computer science books with lighter fluid
2. Light books on fire
3. Use flames to cook an energy-rich meal for the thousands of hours ahead
4. Pick an IDE
5. Choose a project beyond current capabilities. Good ways to push boundaries:
- Unfamiliar domain (e.g. large scale data processing, UI programming, high performance computing, games)
- Exotic programming language
- Larger in scope than any project before
6. Shut up about your IDE
7. Attempt to build
8. Stop procrastinating on Hacker News
9. Re-attempt to build
10. Squeeze stress ball and scream into pillow as necessary to keep sanity
When stuck:
- Paste stack traces into Google
- Find appropriate mailing list to get guidance
- Realize that real learning happens when you are stuck, uncomfortable, and/or frustrated
- Seek out books, classes, or other resources AFTER you have a good understanding of your deficiencies
11. Repeat #4 to #10 for at least 10 years
12. Results guaranteed! (to the same extent static types guarantee bug-free programs)

source: nathanmarz.com

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

My employer has this really cool thing. Where if I do my job very well, I get to do other peoples jobs too!

._. hungry android studio

That moment of the year when you have to learn 5 languages in one week 😓

First resolution for 2017: more side-projects.
*commit*
Aaaaand motivation's gone.

I am so glad I found a way to compile c++ for personal projects without using MS VS. Time to relieve my machine from this burden :D

Guys I think I found the ideal client

(This was messaged in the groupchat with all 3 devs working on his project)

The copyright is strong on this one😂

DevRant feature suggestion: no image rants until you have 100++. Shut down the repost meme game.

I was just scrolling down a Facebook feed and a part of a picture with Linus Torvalds appeared.

- Hell no! Not again, 2016, just fuck off already!!

And then... "Happy birthday!"

My heart skipped a beat...

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

Dear Steam,

Is it possible to send ONE FUCKING E-MAIL for the "items on my wish list that are on sale", instead of sending 4738258382 EMAILS FOR EVERY SINGLE ONE LIKE COMPLETE FUCKING MORONS?!?!

!rant
When you find out that Eclipse isn't so bad at all

General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.