I hate React.js with a fucking passion. It sounds great on paper, but once your project gets any size. The mental recursive loops of passing data around is insane. Not to mention keeping consistency a cross metric shit ton of components. How do you manage it?

Hmm....

Little Jakob finds out you can open a js in (mobile) text editor.
Little Jakob finds an nether mod for early Minecraft PE editions (0.7 @ that time or so).

Little Jakob changes some number and vars and creates an Aether mod. (works the same like nether but other blocks&tools).

Little Jakob publishes it with screenshots in a video, gets 30.000+ views on youtube, mod reviews etc. There hasn't been an Aether mod before.

Little jakob feels badass.

2 years later I revited the video - and found out that the mod was licensed and I did something "illegal".

Seeked the internet and apologized to the original author (who was aware of this copy mod) - felt bad, he forgave me.

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

I'm so screwed. Client meeting in an hour.

sudo apt-get purge my-crippling-depression

😂😂😂😂😂😂

"In C++ it’s harder to shoot yourself in the foot, but when you do, you blow off your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

the ability to choose a framework that isn't going to disappear in 3 weeks

Ability to finish a side project before starting a new one

Merge Man!

The power to git merge without conflicts.

Know how to aply my knowledge

Super power to write and understand commentless code !
🤖.
Why?
See picture!

knowing what an api does and which arguments it expects just by looking at it...it would safe so much time for me esspessialy when i haven't used the api or language in a while

I can immediately spot and fix any one-character typo in any block of code at a glance.

The power to change history.

Oh, wait, git already can do that!

Documentation man! 'nuff said

Superpower to instantly create variable names every time I need to declare a new variable based on the perfect matching with the code being written..

So, I needed a package installed on one of our Unix servers. The package manager--which is obsolete garbage--was failing with a message which can only be described as a variant of "Go fuck yourself". A quick Google search didn't help.

3 espressos and an eternity later, I have descended into a manic state. My hair has turned grey and I have started lactating. As a last-ditch effort, I try a new search query on Google, and the first link takes me to a forum with a thread discussing a similar issue. The last post in the thread has a solution which works for me. After fixing the issue, everything in the world feels right and I decide to thank the generous poster, who is like an angel to me at this point.

Guess what? The poster is none other than me. 8 months back, I had created a user account on the forum just to post the solution to a similar issue I had on another server.

!Rant

Is this what we've all been waiting for?

CodeCorrect finds solutions to common errors in your code

"The hack works by inserting a piece of JavaScript in your web code that reroutes uncaught exceptions to a local node.js web server. From there, the code sends a request to StackOverflow's API to search for error messages and return the highest-ranked solutions to user-submitted questions. Answers are extracted from the StackOverflow, and if they can automatically be converted into instructions, changes will be made to the original code."

https://techcrunch.com/2017/05/...

I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.

Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.

Oops!

I'd become a gardner:
Different sandbox but still fighting bugs.

Slacking off in Hawaii or running for my life.
Depends if that three laws thingy was implemented bug free.

!rant
400 Nerf bullets just arrived... Office is gonna become a war zone...

This is awesome.

Become a therapist. Inspect people instead of DOM elements.

It's ok computer. I go to sleep after 20 mins of inactivity too.

I'll probably learn how to cook, maybe open a café and start selling overpriced coffee and Savory snacks.