Sister called me on my way to work (she never calls me, we communicate through a family signal) to ask if I wanted to come over for dinner in the weekend because a new guy she knows will be there and also my parents.

Me: hmm idk I've got a lot to do in the weekend....
Sis: he saw my laptop by the way, he was highly impressed that its dual booted and asked how on earth I know about Linux! Then I told him about you and what you do and now he really wants to meet you!
Me: what time would I have to be there?

I hate how that stuff can make me change my mind just like this 😅

About to do my first certification... Its an online test and I am nervous as fuck...

Wish me luck!!!

I'm home sick for 4 days now and I'm starting to become paranoid about being replaced because I caught one front end dev watching Spring Boot videos on Friday.

I'm the only one who works with it there.

Not feeling well.

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

Changed my username to something other than my real name.
Realized my GitHub and website have my real name anyway.

🤦🏽‍♂️🤦🏽‍♂️

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

Being the only one in school holding a presentation without PowerPoint

I use websites 🙃

Why would someone in the fucking year of 2018 use fucking IE and only IE?
People need to understand that the sole purpose of IE is to download chrome🤣😂
No matter the framework/language you use it is guaranteed to crash in IE.
It's gonna be a glorious day😂

Only 90s kids will remember this:

"Release"

When people say they are using python 2.7

You think a junior dev pushing his code onto a production server is bad? Wait till you have that admin who is illegally mining Bitcoin on your production server. 😂

I went for a Cyber Security conference today with one of managers and this was one of the life experiences some of the speakers shared.

Made a github.io portfolio website. Showed it to my friend. Asshole copied the whole code from the repo and made one for himself. Didn't even bother to fork the repo or even change the contents of the website. Just removed my name and photo and added his! 😡😡

Someday my GitHub will look like this as well.

There's nothing like getting a angry client calling at 9am about their site being broken because their shit for brains son was messing around with my PHP.

They were legit cursing at me about how unprofessional and shit i was. Good start to the day.

MY PHONE WAS AT 0% WHEN I PLUGGED THE CHARGER IN.

QUICK SAVE.

Congrats, linuxxx

Has anyone seen this ?

A first year student almost shat his pants after looking at my terminal overlay 😅

Prof: Okay guys, i need a flash drive to put a copy of your next project.

Me: *pulls out a flash drive and sho-..*

Prof: except you, I dont trust you.

Our Web Technology professor taught us this in the year 2016, he said and I quote,

"HTML frames are the latest technologies in the www and are supported by new generation browsers only, for example Netscape navigator."

I have a casual retail job and I need to sell this... It really hurts me.

So there's a recent rant, about making a website work for IE.

I get it, you don't want to make it work for IE because you don't use IE.

But get this: you're not doing the site FOR YOU. You're doing it for the intended user, which is a lot of users that use all kinds of shit. If you don't want to do that, get the fuck out of web development, or from development overall. It's not for you.

I remember when I started my career, I had to make a web app that was intended to be used by, say, 100 people. As a developer I had the best tools for that - cool new 19" monitors, good GPU able to spit out a humongous resolution, and I designed that portal to look great. You know what my superior did then? He took away my 19" monitor and gave me a 14" monitor instead, saying that I became a spoiled brat that totally ignored the customer. I was angry at that, but immediately realized that he was completely right.

It doesn't matter! that it works on your machine. Who the fuck cares about your machine?

Does the software work for the intended user? If not, then you're a shitty developer.

This guy at my last internship. A windows fanboy to the fucking max!

He was saying how he'd never use anything related to Linus Torvalds because he hated him for creating Linux.

Two seconds later I saw him initializing a new git repo.

I was standing there like:

*should I tell him?*

😅😆

Why not! 😂

So everyone is showing their setup, I thought why not share mine.

life of a programmer.

8am. Fire alarm. Git push!

WHAT EVEN THE FUCK.

THIS IS NOT OK

We are in 2017! :)