When you're so into your project that you feel like peeing is a waste of time...

He gave me task, and I estimated it will take 2 (120 minutes) hours...
He came after 20 minutes to check the progress... Then he came after 40 minutes... Then he call me after 70 minutes... Then he came again after 90 minutes... Then I delivered the task in the time with my resignation letter draft.

*slaps him*

Javascript is wild

The whole Droid Family

I'm slowly beginning to seriously dislike all of my coworkers.

IE8 YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

Shower thoughts...
Do Microsoft developers use IE?
And what about bing developers, do they use bing?

There's a new kind of cache i didn't know about.

Oldest Computer

Wanted me to encrypt CSS with XML

I still haven't updated my Windows laptop of new update. The reminder is annoying lol, I have clicked snooze button more than I do on my alarm

My asshole coworkers talking about how programmers without a degree are worth shit and cannot achieve anything in industry besides working from startup to startup.

Well, surprise, I'm sitting right next to them, in the same big company and I don't have ANY higher education at all.

Just because I prefer more hands-on experience than theory stuff doesn't make me worse developer than those bastards. I just learn more from working on something, than from sitting in classroom and taking notes.

Fortunately people at HR and boss also valued my previous experience when they hired me, but now having to work with those guys every day is killing me.

Guess who just collapsed several lines of code and then spent 10min looking for them.

My friend sent me this.

Thank you google

Git Bowl

Friend texted me some binary.

Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.

Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".

I'm trying my best to like stackoverflow but it keeps pushing me back. My answer to questions ratio is around 8:2. Had a descent 900 reputation then some psychotic e-stalker comes and downvotes all my questions and answers and I'm only left with 700 reputation now. Why would anyone do this?

🤔🤔

A small ducky for syntax errors

Me: Hey, do you play ku?
Friend: Ku?
Me: sudo ku?
Friend: :-|

She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
Me: What
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.

10 min later

Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
Me: wow.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though

*opens chrome*
Me: wut.
She: *chuckles*

- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))

I did a fucking scientific study about fucking rants and found a fucking high correlation between the usage of "fuck" and the number of fucking upvotes.

Loving the new update of alarm in my phone. The dark theme ..... ❤❤😘

Hello i'd like to hear a ... shut the hell up. Damn how many of these damn jokes can you post in one damn day. I'm about ready to shove my pool stick up the next persons ass until it comes out their fucking throat

when u want to explain something to a collegue and u use all your mind in explaining it by words and he doesn't get it.

draw it! haha! even my flowcharts doesnt look like flowcharts, he got what i meant..XD

Client: I dont want you to rush. Okay?
Me: Okay sir.
Client: But I need it tomorrow.

Whaaaaaaat????

Day 1 of Defcon...Python fan boy tells me that Java is a dying language. I laughed.

Anyone?