Give that guy a cookie.....

I can relate.

"History is never made by those who use incognito browser"

~ William Shakespeare.

These mother fuckers know when I'm packed up and ready to go to work and decide that's the perfect fucking time to call me. WHY COULDN'T YOU CALL WHILE I WAS STILL LOGGED IN AND DIDN'T HAVE TO LOG THE FUCK BACK IN, WAIT 90 YEARS FOR THE VIRTUAL MACHINE TO LOG ME IN and then tell me your issue self resolved. Come down to my office and bring me coffee for being so damn annoying before I'm sufficiently caffeinated.

To have a genuine passion for what you do even if your work impacts that positivity.

Will they be taking our jobs now? 😂😂

My worst nightmare:

No dark theme.

When StackOverflow is the only one, who believes in you

Boss: Need the software ready till evening.

Me: Haste makes waste.

Boss: You are going to write waste anyway.

My stressball went on vacation

At least one award for me

I accidentally created a bug that became an amazing feature at my last job.

It was for a program to read barcode tickets (we created software and web solutions for events), and to register the barcode sacnners to the computer I had to do some magic with USB-detection since it was not specified which brand the scanners would be (so no SDK would be available).

When the scanner was plugged in it would create its own thread so it wouldn't interfere with the UI of the program when it was reading/sending data.

Somehow I messed up with the thread termination for new scanners so it would accept to connect more than one scanner and it would work flawless since it was its own thread in the program.

When I tried to think out a solution for multiple scanners when planning it I got a headache and thought that's something for later. Turned out alright in the end apparently.

True shit

So seeing everybody posting different "volume controls" from r/programmerhumour, here is the most simplest imo

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

My 1 liner change cant possibly break production.

*Before learning to code*
Me: It's going to be easy. 😎
*After learning to code*
Me: Ahh,What should I name this variable.😟😟

*low quality stolen meme*

Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules

I believe that sometimes my IDE should tell me : FuckingRetardException : Man, wtf are you doing. Go fuck yourself

😂😂😂

Advertising fail

Try jogging your mind...

Welcome to the team...

Finally found a use for this

!rant

Teach Yourself How to Write Code in 3 seconds.

C o d e

There you go.

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

Who has been in these meetings?

Please comment 😁

"Other" seems to be some kind of antimatter

Ahhh DDoS attacks

Boolean Logic....