As a child I was fascinated with computers. I don't know what about them fascinated me but I knew they were powerful tools. For the longest I had the mentality that those with natural talent are meant to be programmers but recently I heard a quote that changed my perspective completely it says, "What I lack in natural talent I make up for in discipline." I'm learning my first language now and I'm obsessed with it and I'm learning new things everyday. I don't ever see myself stopping.

Damn it SAM

Push me
And then just merge me
So I can get that
Merge confliction
Merge confliction

!rant

i would really like to be able to open pictures in rants if they're in the preview without having to actually click on the rant

What does a CS grad do after a line of cocaine?
\n

Making libraries work together. Gluing things together is easy, right?

Always drink and code

exec("mysqldump -u root -pxxxx ".$_GET["table"]);

Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.

Me: OK, what do you need?

Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.

Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?

Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?

Me: D':

Easily this guy.

Fun fact: I was following him on Quora and YouTube for what must have been a year until I realised it was the same person.

!rant

GRUB_INIT_TUNE="288 880 1 0 1 880 1 0 1 880 1 698 1 1046 1"

Pokemon healing tune.

Commit notes like this....

Found a better way to stack cables!

I believe by the time Elon Musk sets up a colony on Mars, npm will be done installing those fucking dependencies.

I'm staring at the setter portion of a legacy VB property I came across.

This is crazy... right?

Set(value As String)
_firstName = value.Substring(0, value.Length)
End Set

Was it needle haystack, or haystack needle?

Just come across this little gem on an 8 year old website :(

do math majors graduate with degrees or
radians?

PM: I spoke with x client, they really like x feature and want to continue.
Me: great, I'll let the team know.
PM: Yeah, I told your team already.
Me: Oh. What did they say?
PM: They all told me to tell you first, so you can tell them.
Me: 😏

Priority
source: http://programmers.life/2016/09/...

When error messages have self-awareness and fix problems by themselve the world will burn but I have less issues to care about.

Spaces or tabs? - Semicolons!

As I joke, I put in the requirement for links to be active on a printout. My developers showed up with QR codes. Touché.

Java is a lot like a 3 legged dog. You know it'll get where it's going eventually but it's kinda sad to watch.

T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM anyone!?

How to get hired:
http://resume.jonathanravasz.com

Check it out on your phone, it uses the gyro.

Back in grade 7. B was the only correct answer.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

$str = str_replace(array("\{","\}")," ",$str);

//Replaces with spaces the braces in cases where braces in places cause stasis

When you fuck up your repo so bad it transforms into guitar hero