My shower renders temperature as a boolean. 😩

Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 1

Everytime I see a wix ad before a YouTube video I get slightly more aggressive than I already am.

The "Hot Network Questions" in the right side of every StackOverflow page.

Physics, Electronics, World building, Programming puzzles and code golf, Aviation, Skeptics...

Interviewer: Alright, so tell me what you like about software, but you don't have to limit it to software you can talk about hardware too. But yes what do you like about software?

Me:

*types 'ls' again right after typing 'ls'*

Android is gonna be the death of me. Any fucking idea you have is impossible to implement, because libraries with clear documentation are deprecated. If a library is not deprecated, however, it has documentation written by a fucking caveman who thinks it's extremely self explanatory on how to use something that is extremely application specific. Spent hours looking at Google example code that crashes almost immediately after execution, what a joke.

Client: Take your time. But do it fast.

I hate knowing that there are ton of ways doing something but cant just figure it out which is the best and then having to come back and change it. I know it is part of learning and becoming experienced but still...

Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈

You know you are fucked when you see these results starts to come up in your search result.

You: O(n^3)
The guy she tells you not to worry about: O(n*log n)

No comment.

Best ice machine ever

Seems legit! 😂😂😂

If you are reading this, I want you to know that I am probably on some kind of FBI watchlist because I googled "How to kill all children while leaving the parent alive". So yeah, Linux is brutal.

"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...

"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then

"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information

"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot

"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...

Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...

customer: make it black
me: if i make it black, text will be unreadable, also it doesnt fit with theme
customer: i dont care make it back
me: -makes it-
customer: it didnt fit with theme, revert it back

p2p working with people outside tech industry

Corporate joke

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

*She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below :-*
_"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."_

*Man below replied :-*
_"You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."_

*Lady :-* _"You must be an engineer."_

*Man :-* _"How do you know?"_

*Lady :-* _"Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost."_

*Engineer :-* _"You must be in Top Management."_

*Lady :-* _"Ya. How do you know?"_

*Engineer :-* _"You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge._
_You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!

There are 10 types of person in this world: The ones who have read this joke before, and the ones who have never accessed the internet.

Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...

2 months later...

Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?

You know you're backend when it took you 30 minutes to program the inner workings of the platform... and 4 days to make it look pretty.

When you start reading someone else's code and all you do is properly indent for the first 30 mins so you can actually read it.

Dammit, I can't even describe how much I hate when I'm researching to fix a problem, find a forum/question and the guy answering it makes a post saying "Forget about it, solved it" but doesn't say how.

That feeling when your soul dies a little because you implemented it as you were told and not as it should have been.

Someone is pretty active on github :D