Daily reminder: For the hundredth time, @ing in rants doesn’t work.

I mean, they're not wrong...

Finally, an explanation

Wont happen

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

When a full-stack developer credits the whole team

Android and Full Stack dev here. Also first post.

No boss, i won't call that client to tell him how to configure ssl for his Outlook.

okay, I promise.

My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.

So, eventually they understood a lot of SO users are assholes. 😁

Contributor badge 👍

Stackoverflow.

When you wanted to know deep learning immediately

Is this an actual acronym or is this book trying to act cool 😂

When i said i'll deliver a feature by end of the day, they thought it after 5. But what i really mean is 11.59pm

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

Client: We want an application such that our users can view the 3D rendering of the building we are constructing for them
PM: That's quite easy, we'll get it done
Client: Oh, and the output should be a PDF document, such that they can view the 3D rendering on a PDF reader on the go
PM: That's not a problem, it'll be done

--Right back at the office--
PM: Hey guys, this is our new project....(rants on)
Lead Dev: (in a world of indescribable world) You mean you agreed to that? That's impossible
PM: Just get it done

I wish non coding PM's asked their devs before agreeing to some alien like features

Had a client who was not satisfied with dropdowns, nor checkboxes. He wanted dropdown checkboxes.

Well, horrible shit but nothing javascript can't do.

I got my wife pregnant despite birth control being used... You could say she *puts on sunglasses* failed the penetration test.

I'll see myself out.

Thanks Nvidia for the helpful error message.

Why are the fastest laptops always considered "gaming" laptops and look like fucking alien spaceships? 😩

They're ugly as fuck

I had a secondary Gmail account with a really nice short nickname (from the early invite/alpha days), forwarded to another of my mailboxes. It had a weak password, leaked as part of one of the many database leaks.

Eventually I noticed some dude in Brazil started using my Gmail, and he changed the password — but I still got a copy of everything he did through the forwarding rule. I caught him bragging to a friend on how he cracked hashes and stole and sold email accounts and user details in bulk.

He used my account as his main email account. Over the years I saw more and more personal details getting through. Eventually I received a mail with a plaintext password... which he also used for a PayPal account, coupled to a Mastercard.

I used a local website to send him a giant expensive bouquet of flowers with a box of chocolates, using his own PayPal and the default shipping address.

I included a card:

"Congratulations on acquiring my Gmail account, even if I'm 7 years late. Thanks for letting me be such an integral part of your life, for letting me know who you are, what you buy, how much you earn, who your family and friends are and where you live. I've surprised your mother with a cruise ticket as you mentioned on Facebook how sorry you were that you forgot her birthday and couldn't buy her a nice present. She seems like a lovely woman. I've also made a $1000 donation in your name to the EFF, to celebrate our distant friendship"

What if Doctors are treated as developers?

Great😅😂

Git merge :)

Something seems familiar about this design.... (Found on twitter)

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

In 2014,. I sold 0.17 btc for $87. I bought pizza with that money. It was delicious. I regret nothing.

Good job.

When you spend too much time in your car