Docker containers are actually awful garbage that should never have seen the light of day.

deal with oop.

because they made it waaaaay more complicated than it needs to be.

A big shoutout to all software vendors, who, at the top of their product homepage, simply explain to you in 2-3 non-bullshit sentences what their product actually does, and what it is used for. I fucking love you.

And a big fat middle finger to all the rest with your useless buzzword gobbledygook. Go to hell.

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

If you notice a bug, but the client hasn’t seen the bug, is it really a bug?

In which category you fall.

Everything is on the internet, just copy and paste from there

When your vending machine throws an unhandled exception...

A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.

A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.

Python:

from module import *

SSH as root

Variables vs Deadline

Wk1 : int Store_Account_Balance ;

Wk3: int StoreAccountBalance ;

Wk5: int StoreBalance ;

Wk7: int storebalance ;

Wk9: int balance ;

Wk11: int bal ;

Wk 13: int b;

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

I can’t even say what’s wrong with PHP, because— okay. Imagine you have uh, a toolbox. A set of tools. Looks okay, standard stuff in there.

You pull out a screwdriver, and you see it’s one of those weird tri-headed things. Okay, well, that’s not very useful to you, but you guess it comes in handy sometimes.

You pull out the hammer, but to your dismay, it has the claw part on both sides. Still serviceable though, I mean, you can hit nails with the middle of the head holding it sideways.

You pull out the pliers, but they don’t have those serrated surfaces; it’s flat and smooth. That’s less useful, but it still turns bolts well enough, so whatever.

And on you go. Everything in the box is kind of weird and quirky, but maybe not enough to make it completely worthless. And there’s no clear problem with the set as a whole; it still has all the tools.

Now imagine you meet millions of carpenters using this toolbox who tell you “well hey what’s the problem with these tools? They’re all I’ve ever used and they work fine!” And the carpenters show you the houses they’ve built, where every room is a pentagon and the roof is upside-down. And you knock on the front door and it just collapses inwards and they all yell at you for breaking their door.

That’s what’s wrong with PHP.

Corporate joke

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

*She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below :-*
_"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."_

*Man below replied :-*
_"You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude."_

*Lady :-* _"You must be an engineer."_

*Man :-* _"How do you know?"_

*Lady :-* _"Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost."_

*Engineer :-* _"You must be in Top Management."_

*Lady :-* _"Ya. How do you know?"_

*Engineer :-* _"You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge._
_You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!

Ever stopped coding for a few weeks and then you came back and you feel like a bloody greenhorn?

When you boot and can't remember if its F2 F8 F12 or DEL

a picture worth thousand words

Time changes too fast...

Spending all day debugging sure makes me feel like I didn't get shit accomplished that day. lol

FUCK THIS! im going home, and the client can suck it

Windows 10
Disclaimer: No bugs were harmed in the production of this OS.

The most accurate prediction..😂😂

the best way to learn programming is not by just reading books and coding basic examples. it is to take up a project which seems impossible and start doing it piece by piece, with the help of Google and stack overflow

Dear nerds from all over the world,
We get it. 404 pics are funny.

But did you know there other status codes too?
Like...
204 - No Response
301 - Moved
302 - Found
400 - Bad request
401 - Unauthorized
402 - Payment Required
403 - Forbidden
501 - Not Implemented
502 - Service Temporarily Overloaded

I'm sure you'll also find funny situations with these.
Thanks. We're the best!

When they say java but they mean javascript

DND please... jejeje

<norant>
Today I got the acceptance letter from the university. I will study "Computer Engineering, Software Engineering and mobile platforms", starting this fall. 😀👍
</norant>

manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

class Dog extends Animal {}

Make sense ...