try {
❤
} catch(e) {
🍺
}

MRW boss asks me how I'm doing in my current work

Got a phone interview for a backend dev job in an opsec company.

Interviewer:
This is a very serious and prestigious position, we take care of the most important bits of code.

*Proceeds to talk introductory nonsense*

Interviewer:
Do you know what a DNS is?

Me:
Yes, of course! DNS stands for Domain Name System.... Blah blah blah... I explain about the servers, about hosts file, about DNS spoofing and everything else possible on this topic.

Interviewer:
See, I was patient with you - letting you finish. I'm not sure what you're talking about and where you got it from, but a DNS is that line in the browser where you type the site's name.

He didn't ask any more questions, just told me that they'll get back to me. I asked not to do that.

Three weeks later I got an email claiming that I'm not qualified.

32, 34, 38, 46, 62, 94 and so on.

My boss isn't really a developer. He isn't part of the development team and doesn't know any technical details about the product. He doesn't want to code, "too much effort", he just wants to boss. But he wrote some php in the early 2000's and is really, really proud of his codecademy html/css badge...

And that makes him dangerous.

Today I hear him talk from behind his laptop: "Right, we have this page for creating management groups, but we can't edit them yet. I can fix that!"

This task is literally on the current sprint, but he doesn't know that because he doesn't attend scrum meetings and ignores everything people say to him.

Me: This smells like probable cause, let's look with suspicion over his shoulder.

Boss:
"OK, right-click create.blade.php -> copy.
then right-click directory -> paste.
now just rename file to edit.blade.php!"

I start walking to the office kitchen.

Boss mumbling in the background:
"Now all I need to do is just copy the whole method in the controller, change the post url in the form, and modify the <h4> at the top, so it says edit instead of create."

Boss, looking at me now:
"This is so easy... creating and editing is almost the same thing, you can just copy paste all the code from one template to the other! I don't understand what you developers are always complaining about!"

Me: *Hands him a roll of paper towels*

Boss: "What is that for?"

Me: *points at code*

PHP porn

My senior designed this Error page.. and the message is damn funny..

Stolen from Reddit

Lol😂😂😂

I wish any of my friends could understand it.

Being a Node.JS developer is like...

Bob?
Yeah?
Bob, could you hand me that paperclip?
Sure mate!
Thanks.

Oh... Bob?
Uhhh... yeah?
Could you also hand me that paperclip?
Right... sure, of course.
Thanks.

Bob?
What?
Could you also hand me the next paperclip?
Fuck off, why don't I just give you the whole fucking box!

Yeah Bob, please, throw the whole fucking box.

Wait, is that a printed screenshot of my code you're attaching the paperclips to?

It sure is, Bob.

After a point...

REAL gif from Hawaii warning system!

Git branch structure art

A dictionary is just a whole bunch of circular references.

That moment when your GF bothers you so much with her Instagram photos

https://github.com/gulzar1996/...

Frontend-developer's day is like:

*moving element by 0.0001px to right*:
- *10 new pages appeared*
- *text suddenly disappeared*
- *pictures pierced bottom of page*
- *window.alert("Kill me")*
- *it's night outside the window, but you totally sure a minute ago was a noon*

*moving element back*:
- *no pictures*
- *no text*
- *no moon*
- *10 blank pages*
- *only darkness left in this world...
...and this fcking element, yeah*

Resolve...

Imagine this scenario:

You'll no longer be living the life you got accustomed to. You'll no longer be seeing people you used to see and interact almost everyday. It's quite overwhelming feeling when that reality hits you.

That's how I'm feeling right now. It feels weird. A major part of my life since over a year will no longer be there.

Though i hated most of my time there, it still feels.

😑

...this

us government pls

net neutrality

we need it

kthxbye

When developers write to santa

Lol true

Phone conversation between me and a client:

CLIENT: "I see it weird..."
ME: "Which browser are you using?"
CLIENT: "The one you tech guys don't like"
ME: "Internet Explorer, isn't it?"
CLIENT: "Yeah, I'll switch to Firefox then."

Good bye

Sad to see the net nutrality things in US, I guess VPN business wil be booming for the next few days

This advice cant be better! 😂

Am i the only one?

FCC votes to kill net neutrality ☹

You tried America. You tried.