It’s just about time

(•_•)
<) )╯i
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> got
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> promoted
/ \

My linkedin profile = ~7 years as an iOS developer. All of my job titles are "iOS Developer", "iOS Engineer" or "Mobile lead".

Recruiter: Hi, your profile looks great, I have a number of open roles matching your skills. Would you be free for a call to discuss your salary expectations, skills, what you are looking for etc.

Me: Hi, sorry I don't have time for a call right now, here are answers to your questions. Can you send me on any iOS job specs you have and i'll review. <answers>

Recruiter: Sorry I have no open iOS roles at this time.

Bitch ... ima find you and make you understand

Hitler sort: Delete every odd element.

Mc Donald's everyone😂

Shit just got real

Well that was a fun call I just had.

Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.

Me: What?

Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.

Me: What?! Why????

Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.

Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.

Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.

Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.

Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?

Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.

Today I have discovered that my fingers have become so accustomed to writing the word "vertex", that I can no longer write "vector" on the first try...

It's 2018, web developers, let get our tools on..

Client...

"The website must be fully compatible with Internet Explorer"
Yeah well that's too fucking bad

My company

Proving you're not a robot has gone to new extremes... yes, I can shart.

My worst experience is, that I was fired after the third week in a new job. I worked then for a really small company.

My supervisor didn't like me and just wanted me out.

He asked for feedback and new ideas. I provided good reviews.

I even gave the company really good ideas, didn't get any credits for it, but they have implemented them now. Never got any credit for it.

I can look back and say that my supervisor then was a douche and wanted to kill off a young guy with a bit more technical knowledge and a vision.

For me it's in the past...

Now I got a way better job at a really gigantic company, better pay, much better work with better working times, a very friendly and helpful team, which appreciate my feedback and effort.

Sometimes it needs to get worse, to have later something better.

Now I can enjoy my new job and go everyday with a smile in my face :)

Been getting rejected for Linux related jobs all over for the last few months. Yesterday I emailed a company yet again because fuck it.

Got a call today from their recruiter! Genuinely nice guy and he's going to call me back tomorrow! Let's hope this finally goes well 😄

Ever been at a company that makes you feel worthless and useless? To add to that, have a director who has physically assaulted you? Company refuses to train, but demands that certain set of skills. Won't give a raise but has literally millions in funds for advertising. Yeah. Fuck that.

It changed my life, really. 😁

How's the laptop now...
Got stickers.

I wish it was more acceptable to leave a job every 2 or 3 years. I like seeing how different developers work and learning from more than just the same 5 people everyday.

Person: Yea, I used to program
Me: Oh nice, what language?
Person: CCS
Me: 😂 *holding it in*

I love my office.
Quit my job to startup with a friend.
It's hard at times. But I love it.

Gillette Excel

Kind of sad when you think about it.

Just Bruce Wayne things

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

Rofl😂😂😂

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fck fk fuck

My teammate used p tag and made it look like a button using css.

He has 10 years of web development experience.

Couldn't agree more