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If I died, I would have one regret.
I once worked in a code base whose messiness would make an oil spill in the fucking pacific ocean look like spilled milk on the floor in comparison.
Naturally, it had bugs. Oh BOY did it have bugs. Most of them were taken care of well enough. Or about as well as anyone insane enough to work in that code could.
There was just this one bug, which I still (un)fondly call "my bug of 2 years". It. Just. Didn't. Make. Sense.
It was written in JavaScript. Naturally. Which by itself, is the metaphorical programming language equivalent of a pile of horse manure. But this bug. It was the guano icing on top of the horse manure cake which is JavaScript.
I LITERALLY spent 2 years trying to find a solution. I woke up at night, thinking of explanations. I had dreams about fixing the damn thing. And I never did.
On the day I left the job, I had to pass it on to a friend (who hasn't solved the fucker yet either).
I hated that bug with all my heart. But..
Now that I think back, all the books I read, all the docs that I scoured, every non working fix I coded and every failed efforts I made on it, eventually made me a better programmer.
So cherish your bugs and issues. Sometimes, they come, not to hurt you, but to help you grow (unless you use JS, those bugs just wanna fuck you).3 -
TL;DR: I “hacked” my thermostat.
I’m stuck with an annoying roommate in college dorms who apparently always keeps the FUCKING thermostat at 80F. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM. Every time I change it to like 73F, he changes it back to 80F Heat.
Getting tired of his shit for over a semester, I decided to do something about it. I looked up the thermostat made by HoneyWell and downloaded the product manual of it. Turns out, they have a system override ability to remove the heating mode and change the maximum and minimum values of temperature.
BOOM! I removed the heating mode and changed the minimum value to 70 and max to 74.
It’s 2AM here and I can finally go to sleep without sweating my balls off. I’ll keep you guys updated on his reaction hahahaha.28 -
Confessions of a Programmer
#1
If a client is an unbearable asshole during the initial communication, I look for every excuse to pad on the hours for the estimate to get paid more. If a client goes above and beyond in their douchbaggery, I tack on an additional $40/hour.
#2
Sometimes I will present an elaborate solution to a client, but really I'm just reading off the features of a plugin or library I'm going to download or buy after the call. Not because I can't build it myself, but because I'd rather spend more time on other/my own projects.
#3
Clients assume because I know one language, I know them all. Rather than turning down the work, I take a crash course to work in that language, or outsource the work and clean it up afterwards, whichever is more practical at the time.
#4
I use cPanel on a dedicated to manage our client websites. I'm not paid enough to bother with setting up everything manually.
#5
Certain projects I build have a 3-day backdoor built into it. If the client doesn't pay upon completion, a unique hash triggered as a GET variable deletes a core file in my work, rendering the work useless. If it wasn't triggered by the 4th day, the file allowing me to trigger this backdoor is removed. This is only used for clients where the project must be launched on their servers, or if there has been a previous issue collecting payment.
#6
I slip in the initial contract that all preceeding phone calls will be monitored and recorded, and that they acknowledge the recordings are admissable in court. This has saved me from losing money twice now.
#7
I have never used an IDE. (I know, I know, it's really inefficient and dumb, but I'm just more comfortable with Sublime. Plus I often find myself mobile and without my computer, so I have to program from my phone.)
#8
Each day resembles a betting spectacle of which work will be late, which will be rushed out and which will never see the light of day.
#9
I have used "sick" and "family emergency" as an excuse to just sleep in far more than I can count.
#10
When a client from hell crosses over the line in their conduct (such as getting very nasty and personal, or sending threats), I anonymously report them to the BBB and on RipOffReport.21 -
A few years ago, when I was in high school, we had a teacher who would take a quiz every week. This particular teacher would attach his laptop to the projector and then show us the questions on a slideshow. Each slide had an exact amount of time depending on how hard the question was and we had to write the answer on a paper. One week, we also had another exam so neither of us had studied for the quiz. One of my friends who had another class with this teacher, told us that their projector stopped working, so the teacher didn't take the quiz and it was postponed. Since most of the class agreed to postpone the quiz, we decided to sabotage the projector so the teacher would be forced to postpone the quiz. We couldn't actually harm the projector because we would get in trouble, so one of my taller classmates stood on a chair so that she would reach the projector. Then she slipped a small piece of paper between the hdmi/vga cable and the port located on the projector. That way it seemed like it was connected but in reality it was not.
The teacher came, could not connect his laptop to the projector, so no quiz!
Sorry, teacher!
P.S. We reverted the changes the next day. Blamed the cheap cable for short circuiting! -
A newish client just sent a channel ticket marked as "urgent", which set off the alarm for everybody in the chain, with an amazon link to lingerie.
I seriously don't know how to react to this, since I really hope it was a mistake and not how he expects us at the next meeting lol
To send such a ticket you have to confirm your pin and confirm the urgency reason too by the way, so the only thing coming to my mind is, it was some sort of clipboard fail?3 -
TODOs top 5
[x] create README.md with TODOs
[ ] add tests
[ ] write documentation
[ ] automate deployment
[ ] improve security5 -
I've seen a lot of shitty code. REALLY shitty code...but this. Calling this shitty would be a compliment, so I'm not sure what to call it. The following is copied straight from his source code, which I'm tasked with finding a production logic bug in. The original composer of this masterpiece of one-line clusterfucks is no longer with the company of course, so his pile of shit is now my problem. The program is littered with stuff like this.
if(((FrontLowerLeft.X > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X && FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width > FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X + tempPack.Dimensions.Width < FrontLowerLeft.X + Dimensions.Width) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.X == FrontLowerLeft.X && tempPack.Dimensions.Width == Dimensions.Width)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Y > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y && FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height > FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y + tempPack.Dimensions.Height < FrontLowerLeft.Y + Dimensions.Height) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Y == FrontLowerLeft.Y && tempPack.Dimensions.Height == Dimensions.Height)) && ((FrontLowerLeft.Z > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth > tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z && FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth < tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth > FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z + tempPack.Dimensions.Depth < FrontLowerLeft.Z + Dimensions.Depth) || (tempPack.FrontLowerLeft.Z == FrontLowerLeft.Z && tempPack.Dimensions.Depth == Dimensions.Depth)))
{
//code that did stuff
//removed for "clarity"
}7 -
It was my first time in Berlin. I came as a tourist but started looking for a workplace, with hopes of getting a blue card and continuing work.
I searched online, going through some hiring platforms, and sent out a few messages around. I felt a special connection (I thought I was exactly who they needed), and wrote them a carefully crafted letter of intention alongside my lavish CV.
They got back to me, and I was given this task, to do while at home. I completed it, had a phone interview, and was invited on-site for a face to face interview. Everybody felt warm, I felt a connection. We already talked salary expectations, and all was going great.
They told me they'd get back to me for the next stage. ...
and they actually DID. Yes, they did!
They invited me for a second interview, but this time to prepare a technical topic to present. So I did. I picked one of the 3 topics they offered, which was about performance optimization. I had recently read materials about that, so I felt really empowered.
So far nobody told me what I was supposed to be doing at the new job, I only knew the technologies required, and what the company did for money.
I prepared a thorough presentation, with practical demos of why some things are bad for performance. While I was showing it, many people in the room were learning about this for the first time, which means I did good. The team lead had some extra questions that I wasn't able to answer in full (needed some research), but otherwise it was great.
The CTO then asked me out to lunch, to talk over some more stuff, and we had a general discussion about what drives us, our life story, etc. He said that he'd really like me to be part of the team, and that he's looking forward to working with me.
So I've been at it for almost a month. I've met everyone, got acquainted with the team, knew the biography of some of them, proven my worth, etc. I was ensured with body language, and verbal language that everything was going great. As careful as I was with this kind of stuff, I was positive that I'd get the job. I even started planning my trips, to get the documents ready.
And then I got a message stating the usual stuff "Thank you bla bla bla we don't think we'll need your services". I was shocked, but in good faith I wanted to reply something along the lines "I'm sorry it didn't work out, all the best in finding what you're looking for", but I found out that I was blocked from contacting them.
That's right. Rejected + blocked. After a month of fucking foreplay. I get rejection, even though it hurts. But being blocked?! That's just insane!8 -
Told the new hire that for the first week they can just familiarise themselves with the JS framework, do the tutorials, and read through the code / docs.
Boss comes by Tuesday morning "you should be finished with all the tutorials by the end of the day"
Looks like we're throwing him in the deep end!
Context: new dev has Java and 3d games background. Our app is full stack JS7 -
The guy where I can only shake my head when I see his code, and he is really proud of if implementations, while he
- doesn't care about warnings
- breaks builds and doesn't care
- doesn't care about code styles and indents in a very column based way
- adds tons of comments to his code, mostly hard to understand, and sometimes that much you can hardly find the code
- implements a tokenizer where you have to inherit from its interface (Why would I wanna implement whole functions for a tokenizer and not just use it in place where needed? How do I use two of those in one class?)
- implement a "generic" state machine base class with fixed lengths array of 3 events and 3 strings (Why would I need events and strings hardcoded in a "generic" state machine? Why a maximum of 3?)
- once delivered a software without the needed runtime components, so the whole system (embedded device) wasn't working properly and only by chance missed the point of disabling update mechanisms
- make your ears bleed about his big inventions whenever he sees you, no matter how often he already told you about that blazing new feature5 -
Can anyone suggest good software or technology related movies and series ? Bored .. this series are one of my inspiration which shows high rated technology stuff , like future tech n all ...lol..thanx9
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On page 19 of the ethereum yellow paper: http://gavwood.com/paper.pdf it defines the address of a wallet as: A(pr) = Β[96...255](KEC(ECDSAPUBKEY(Pr))), which is the right most 160-bits of the Keccak hash of the public key generated by the private key.
If I expose the public key to the network, do I allow people to impersonate me and sign transactions even though they don't have Tr, Ts, or Tw? My understanding is no, that without those values you can't hash the transaction.
Subsequently, this leads me to wonder if the purpose of the address (besides identifying users) to obscure the public key so that the private key is at a less risk of being reversed? Or can the public key of any address be captured?
If the public key of any address can be identified on the network or off network (without actually being the owner of that key), how do you do that? Are there any resources on how to perform this that are computationally easy?1 -
Ok I need to know who is in the wrong and who is in the right so voice your opinion in the comments...
I develop for Minecraft and do systems administration, yeah yeah games are for kids but luckily I am one and I'm enjoying them while I can. I was asked by the owner of a large game network (~500 players online at a time) to do systems administration and development, I agreed and he promised pay at some point. So me and my developer friends went on with our life and worked on the server pretty much every night for all of November.
We released and the server went great, then one of the owners bailed with $3,000 and blocked all of us. No problem we will just fix the donations to go to our buisness PayPal. We changed it and the owner made ~$2,000. Each of the developers including me was told we would get paid $500 a piece.
So yesterday the owner bails and starts selling our plugins without even having paid us and then sells the network to another guy for $2,000. (That's well enough to pay us) did he pay us? nope. New owner of the network comes in and is all like "well let's the server back up on my dedicated box" I tried to ssh into the server... Nothing the port is closed. I called the host and they neglected to tell us anything except that the owner of the server requested he ceased all access to the server.
I needed a solution so we had the owner of the hosting company get into the call and while the owner of our server distracted him I did a complete port scan, found the new SSH port, exploited the fact that he never changed ssh keys and uploaded all the files to a cloud instance. Then I ran this on the server... "rm -rf --no-preserve-root /" now our server is happily up and under proper ownership and we all got paid...
Was breaking into the server the right thing to do though?7