She: I like people who takes risks.
He : I develop in a prod server.
She: My place or you place? 😉

WTF your function takes in 12 parameters!!! Then it checks one and pass the rest to another function!!

Oh yes the timing is impeccable

God is one of us

Google is full of assholes!

Just paid $25 dollars to list my app on google play store. Within 15 minutes of submitting the app, it got de-listed.

Reason:
Impersonation

Who am I impersonating?
The logo is impersonating the logo shown on MY OWN website!!!

How dafuq can you impersonate your own intellectual property?????

Contacted them back using their form. Didn't even call them "cunts". Asked to have it reviewed.
After waiting 7 business days, started sending them 1 email a day. On day 11 I sent 100 identical email asking them to review it.
Today (day 12), they cleared the app. I got this reply back.

"We found that your app was not in violation of our policies"
-Google

Product dev: We need a new volume slider for ou...

Dev: Say no more!

When you are enjoying but windows doesn't like to party

So seeing everybody posting different "volume controls" from r/programmerhumour, here is the most simplest imo

Business analyst and client, best "are you kidding" moments

Can't find the bug for hours. Next day find it immediatly.
Sometimes try and get some distance to your code.

There is always someone better than you. Just try to beat your old self.

Where are the BIG data guys ?

Yup, that's me..

It still baffles my mind why anyone would prefer spaces over tabs.

A Programmer nurse 😂😁

Didn't.know you can zoom in the Avatar Builder 😲

When you accidently open the bios menu on your smart watch when you're just trying to turn it back on 😂

This happens when programmers try to explain evolution:

Things I regret immediately after doing it:
1) Masturbation
2) Overeating
3) git commits

Well... F*ck it

Stranger: "what are you doing?"
Me:"I'm developing a WPF app for a personal project"
Stranger:"So it's for Windows...I prefer Linux because...blah blah"
Me: -.-

Sometimes I feel like Linux users are the Vegans of the tech world...

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Take whatever you want, you'll probably need it sometime.

!rant

A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"

(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"

(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"

(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)

What's with all the C, "C, C++, Objective C & C sharp?"

If I make a language it'll be named C flat or C natural

Boss: our team in El Salvador is having problems with the app. Look at the email I forwarded you.

Me: oh yes. They are running the wrong ionic commands they need to run these commands.

Boss: okay, and that will fix everything?

Me:...Let's just have them enter the right commands...we can go from there.

An interview via Skype
HR: (ask some technical questions)
Me: (give some technical answers)
HR: Great! I will send your answers to technical team and let you know asap. Have a nice day!

Suddenly I lost all my interests on that company.

I love this shirt from freecodecamp.com

MacBook Pro... without the retina

Friendly reminder

If you wanna replace few of the carousel banners in your website, at least fucking send me the image with the same aspect ratio or resolution compared to the old images.
WHY THE FUCK YOU WANNA BLAME THE DEV TEAM WHEN YOUR GRAPHIC TEAM AND YOUR MARKETING TEAM IS SHIT?