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Abouttrying my luck creating my own thing
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Skillsc#, java, js, ts...
Joined devRant on 7/21/2016
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So I needed to go through a documentation of a program that was obviously developed by Chinese people, and went through some kind of Google translate to be in English.
This is an utter disaster: sentences that barely make sense, code blocks without a matching ending that cause the rest of the paragraph to be in the code block as well, code outside code blocks and without formatting, sentences unrelated to the section they're in, etc.
The program itself is great, but the shitty documentation makes me wanna kill whoever wrote it2 -
A fun fact, dev in hindi/gujarati means "God".
Now I can't help but wonder if those languages were developed by time travellers!5 -
Here's a list of unpopular stuff which I agree with:
1) I love Java more than any other programming language.
2) I love sleeping more than working.
3) I'm not a night owl. I thrive the most during daylight.
4) I don't like or need coffee. Tea is fine.
5) Webdev is a huge clusterfuck which I secretly wish that could just die already.
6) Cybersecurity is a meme and actually not that interesting. Same passes for Cloud, Machine Learning and Big Data.
7) Although I'm a huge fan of it Linux is too unstable and non-idiot proof to ever become mainstream on the desktop.
8) Windows is actually a pretty solid OS.
9) The real reason I don't use macos is because I'm a poorfag that can't afford an overpriced laptop.
10) I don't like math and I hate that people push math shit into random interview questions for dev jobs which have nothing to do with math.
Post yours.279 -
read and get a basic understanding ->
create using simpleton syntax until confident ->
read a bit more ->
refactor with a more advanced approach
-> repeat until GODMODE
-> sad panda if the next version is completely different (Angular 2.0)
-> flex your muscles
-> buy some swag
-> happy panda
-> retire. -
“Start your own company” they said
“It will be fun” they said
“You’ll be your own boss” they said
Idiots forgot to mention how hard it would be. Late nights, early mornings. Client searching...
It’s all good though, locked down three well paying clients today. Drinks on me 😎8 -
Just built a custom retropi for the boyfriend for his bday. Custom paint, button, box, splash screen, and games. Fun little project.17
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Finally did it. Quit my job.
The full story:
Just came back from vacation to find out that pretty much all the work I put at place has been either destroyed by "temporary fixes" or wiped clean in favour of buggy older versions. The reason, and this is a direct quote "Ari left the code riddled with bugs prior to leaving".
Oh no. Oh no I did not you fucker.
Some background:
My boss wrote a piece of major software with another coder (over the course of month and a balf). This software was very fragile as its intention was to demo specific features we want to adopt for a version 2 of it.
I was then handed over this software (which was vanilajs with angular) and was told to "clean it up" introduce a typing system, introduce a build system, add webpack for better module and dependency management, learn cordova (because its essential and I had no idea of how it works). As well as fix the billion of issues with data storage in the software. Add a webgui and setup multiple databses for data exports from the app. Ensure that transmission of the data is clean and valid.
What else. This software had ZERO documentation. And I had to sit my boss for a solid 3hrs plus some occasional questions as I was developing to get a clear idea of whats going on.
Took a bit over 3 weeks. But I had the damn thing ported over. Cleaned up. And partially documented.
During this period, I was suppose to work with another 2 other coders "my team". But they were always pulled into other things by my Boss.
During this period, I kept asking for code reviews (as I was handling a very large code base on my own).
During this period, I was asking for help from my boss to make sure that the visual aspect of the software meets the requirements (there are LOTS of windows, screens, panels etc, which I just could not possibly get to checking on my own).
At the end of this period. I went on vacation (booked by my brothers for my bday <3 ).
I come back. My work is null. The Boss only looked at it on the friday night leading up to my return. And decided to go back to v1 and fix whatever he didnt like there.
So this guy calls me. Calls me on a friggin SUNDAY. I like just got off the plane. Was heading to dinner with my family.
He and another coder have basically nuked my work. And in an extremely hacky way tied some things together to sort of work. Moreever, the webguis that I setup for the database viewing. They were EDITED ON THE PRODUCTION SERVER without git tracking!!
So monday. I get bombarded with over 20 emails. Claiming that I left things in an usuable state with no documentation. As well as I get yelled at by my boss for introducing "unnecessary complicated shit".
For fuck sakes. I was the one to bring the word documentation into the vocabulary of this company. There are literally ZERO documentated projects here. While all of mine are at least partially documented (due to lack of time).
For fuck sakes, during my time here I have been basically begging to pull the coder who made the admin views for our software and clean up some of the views so that no one will ever have to touch any database directly.
To say this story is the only reason I am done is so not true.
I dedicated over a year to this company. During this time I saw aspects of this behaviour attacking other coders as well as me. But never to this level.
I am so friggin happy that I quit. Never gonna look back.14 -
I was working on a bug in a parser for the response from an api which returns 'n/a' when a certain measurement isn't available. The code was "if ($value == 'n/a')" and when this was true the value was rejected (language is php).
Some of you may instantly understand the problem here. I didn't. Some of the measurements were 0 which is ok, but for some reason it didn't accept them.
Then I discovered the bitter truth:
0 == 'n/a' is true!
Apparently php tries to convert the string to a number to compare it and if it fails it returns false, so false == 0
😞3 -
HTML & CSS.
To me they just feel wrong.
I have been working with them for a little over 20 years now, and it feels like very little has improved. Sure we learned to make things look a bit nicer, we got new tags and properties, but the syntax is still horrible.
The fact that both are replaced by other imperfect languages (haml, jade, less, sass, etc) is just a confirmation that their paradigms are about as fucked up and impossible to exterminate as cobol.
Which points at another problem: browsers, and how slow the web upgrade cycle is — adding native support for nested style definitions in css, or replacing html with a json document seems like a trivial problem, if it weren't for the dozens of browsers and the excruciating pace at which they can adopt standards.8 -
/*
* First anniversary of devRant unofficial for Windows 10 (UWP)!
*
* Let's celebrate by giving me 500 ++'s 😁
*/
Exactly 1 year ago, on 18 May 2016, I released the first public version (v0.9.2.0 BETA) of my client for Windows 10 users.
I found this wonderful community a few days before, on 12 May 2016, thanks to an article on TNW.
The only flaw was the missing Windows 10 Mobile client for my Lumia 950, so I decided to create a simple one on my own that initially allowed you only to see the list of rants, without the ability interact with them.
A few days later, after spamming the app on twitter, I was reached by @dfox, a very kind person, who gave me all necessary tools and help to bring all official features to Windows 10 users.
A project that I created initially just for fun and necessity became the main project I'm working at in a very short time.
I received a lot of positive reviews from users that motivated me to improve and continue it.
It's true, Windows 10/Windows 10 Mobile users are few, but they appreciate your work as no other and with a lot of feedbacks and suggestions help you to improve it making it very satisfying.
I would like to thank @dfox who made this possible, my friend @thmnmlst who helped me a lot with precious advices and created the presentation below, and of course the whole Windows 10 community! 😉
Good Ranting!
P.S.
If you haven't tried it yet: https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...
For all updates follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/JakubSOfficial
The v2 is coming... sorry for the delay, below a little preview (alpha) to be forgiven. 😋35 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
This isn't a rant, but I just wanted to share that I just founded my first tech Startup!! 😍😍 So excited to see where this journey leads me.6
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Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.6 -
I'm a lead Dev on an agile team. We were just handed a fixed scope, fixed date project. On Monday, instead of helping push this out, I get to have a meeting to explain how throwing more bodies at it will slow us down.
"No! We are not code monkeys! Knowing JS and Java isn't the same as knowing our application. Stop fantasizing that it's a simple manpower issue and leave us alone so we can work these fucking nightmare timelines in peace!!"
I'm looking for a better way than that to explain it to the Sr management for the business so I don't get fired.16 -
I recently ranted so much about languages but here it goes
JS we need to talk. BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT AND UGLY STUPID BITCH! Dumb piece of bloatware. What even is your problem? Depending on a library for strpad and then blow up like Steve jobs ego. Bastardized fuckfest. I used to like you bro and then you screw me over!
It's like you fuck my wife while I try to fix your car. Why can't you even be usefully on your own anymore? I'd be richer than bill gates if I get a dollar for every damn framework people pull from their asses. Are you writing this fuck while shitting so you can compare colors of your outcome?
Normalize the fucking base, don't add to the bukkakke! bitch is drowning already. Why is everyone jerking of to react and angular? When have YOU written something in vanilla the last time? Why even bother? Remove the core and hardcore every damn framework into the browsers. Guess that saves you 200kb. Oh wait I forgot that's about unminified jQuery.
Now I need to load about 2GB of dependencies, some creating code that puts code in my code to load code out of my code which was generated out of something that remotely resembles JS so every browser is able to execute my fancy shit. But hey, it's fast. And of course there are the fanboys. You are worse than apple fags. You sample your own jizz with your friends in a wine glass. there was a Time it was bad practice to mix logic and view. Now you made it mandatory. "Browser does the rendering" ofc you imbecile pile of fuck don't show me a damn preloader for 1 picture and 20 lines of text. Who fucked your brain so hard?
So react seems to be the cool kid now, then I tell someone I know angular it's like showing up in a pikachu onsie to a formal dinner with the queen.
I used to love you girl. I loved how we could dirty things together. Now you are like a pig. Please loose weight bby the sight of you disgusts me nowadays2 -
would software product companies plz start describing what the product *actually* does on their homepages? if u say ur product/framework/tool will help me leverage this or collaborate that, it's an almost zero entropy statement, because everyone says so. Are u selling coffee or a .net gui library? because both can help me make my software better and leverage whatever it's supposed to leverage .. so, pleaaase, just say what ur product does, if that doesn't sell it, using hyped catch all phrases won't either ...
oh, and stop calling ur products somethingfy or somethingly .. just stop -
Ubuntu mono font is such a delight to use as a code font.
Changed all my IDE / Atom / Notepad++ fonts to use that as default now. :-)
http://font.ubuntu.com/2 -
Our designer (and frontender) just saved my ass big time. Had to do a tiny project involving design and frontend so I gave it a try and it looked like crap, deadline in a week. The designer made the most beautiful thing in like two days.
Kudos to all designers for doing what they're good at and ensuring that we, backenders (and cyber security people for that matter), can do our thing without having to worry about knowing how to design stuff and create interfaces because we might hate doing that and sometimes just really suck at it.
Kudos designer guys/girls!8 -
"I don't care if this is much simpler in a native language! This is going to be written in Java" *even though it's only going to run on a single Windows machine*
As long as a .jar comes out I'm fine...2 -
Fucking android framework. Sucks my huge ass balls. What is wrong with the people that wrote this?
You implement a fba and hide it when the recyclerview in the corresponding is scrolled down.
Then you change to API level 25 and they fucking decide it would be a good idea to refuse to send the onNestedScroll when the visibility for a fba is set to GONE which is itself not bad, but they also think setting the visibility for the fba when you call the hide() method to... yea you guessed it FUCKING GONE would be an amazing decision. Oh yea you smart ass nice decision I'm so glad you did it.5 -
My dream is to build a shopping cart for web stores that doesn't fucking suck.
Seriously Bigcommerce, Shopify, Magneto, etc. All of you can eat bag of dicks and burn in hell for ever.
I don't care what languages you fancy, all of their stacks are a pile of shit, monkey patched together with popsicle sticks and duct tape and it all falls apart with high concurrency.
All their greasy haired sales teams will throw all manners of horse shit at the poor bastards who are trying to run a business so they can pad their commission checks... "High availability", "scalable", "reliable", "Increased conversation rate"... Lying dick fucks, all of them! I am calling them the fuck out on that snake oil they're all peddling.
The only thing worse than their shit APIs is the shit documentation and the shit support that accompanies them.
Support of these platforms are pretty much all the same, sure mayhaps one has 24*7 phone support and another closes at 9 or some shit like that, either way the only people they put on the phone are monkeys that will freeze up and say "I'm not a developer so I can't help you"... Guess what, "Eric"! I didn't ask if you're a fucking dev! I'm calling because one of your devs fucked up and I need you to tell him to unfuck it so I can get the fuck on with my day!
Their app/plugin market places are shameful to say the least. The overall quality of software is somewhat dire and it's mostly dominated by oversees developers who speak English about as well as the language they're developing with (not very well usually).
I could go on until I hit the character limit but I'm gonna end it here by saying, all shopping carts suck and they should burn for eternity in the depths of hell so that a savior can free all developers from this agonizing torment.9 -
When forced to make something in Access and VBA, the only motivation I find is naming the functions by my choice!2