My greetings from Asia. It's finally here... Thank you devRant! Can't wait to show those stickers to my friends.

I was so excited like a kid when I received this.. Thank You devRant... *happily stick on my mac* *excited*

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

JuniorDev: I made some changes to your code and it seems to work better.
Me: Awesome, thanks dude.
Inner-me: Who the hell does he think he is.

I'd love to watch a movie where a hacker is trying to infiltrate a system and instead of getting in after 15 seconds they spend the entire feature film swearing at the monitor and smashing their head on the keyboard.

From now on, I shall always pose with the peace sign

Jjust got a notification from google drive that I'm out of space. Which is weird because I only have some documentation on there.

So I go looking around and find a folder of "Earth Porn". Apparently I had forgotten to stop a script I made about a year ago that saves all the /r/earthporn top posts.

Atleast I got screensavers for a life time though.

When you can't take part in the new avatar shirts (or any avatar swag for that matter) because you mostly lurk and hardly ever rant...

Once i met a cool guy on a gamejam, we figured out that we both prefer tabs, yay, but then i saw it... He uses Light Themes in his ide =( ok but we can b friends

I kinda wish they called programming lanuages programming dialects

I feel like im still writing in English, the message I am trying to convey to the computer is the same. To me they all just have different accents and ways about doing things

All these people arguing between tabs and indentation. Use a beautify plugin or something and don't even care. Don't be a pious fool and keep coding man. Sentiments are wasteful.

Some dude in my university used Squarespace to make a webstore, presented it as his final exam in Web developement and passed with flying colors.
They didn't even look up the code or anything, just gave him max score and that's it. I hate my school...

Edit: a friend just told me that the guy didn't even made the site. He paid someone else to do it.
I honestly don't know what makes me more sad

Stack Overflow is the need for a developer.

Why the fuck do all these good fucking companies need that proven fucking 3 years of work fucking experience to join? You gotta fucking start somewhere

Me @ people having code trouble : haha, relax! It's not the code's fault nor computers, it just does what you tell it to.

Me @ code giving me trouble : I fucking know code has ancestry and you bring dishonor to yours, fucknuckle.

every single time I open visual studio. and my machine is good..

Why Microsoft, why

Sometimes my code is so bad that it takes an entire family to debug it.

That moment when you go blind because you have been coding in Dark Mode for hours and you just switched to something white!

A software engineer was smoking...

A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"

He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"

For every game developer out there. Why so? 😂

Rose is red,
Violet is blue.
C0FFEE is not brown,
But a mix of green and blue.

Every day I live in constant fear that the app I'm working on will break right before the demo

This one time, I turned off Slack, and actually got some work done.

If I change girlfriends as much I change javascript libraries, I would be Casanova.

Dear people who create frameworks and libraries,

Please don't advertise your stuff as 'super easy to use', 'incredibly lightweight', 'no configuration needed', 'seamless integration' and shit like this. We all know it's a big fat fucking lie. Just be honest and write 'it supposed to be all-purpose but won't solve your problem', 'a huge fucking chaotic mess', 'slow as shit', 'will eat up all your resources', 'might be good but we've lost the documentation' or 'actually worse than vanilla'. If you'd do this, the world would be a better place.

Thanks,

Welp. The startup I'm working for is going under. Ceo gave us zero hints.

I'm the lead dev and been working here for 6 months. Always built features before deadline, zero bugs, and going an extra mile. Can't say the same about the sales and marketing guys.

Kinda scared its gonna look bad. Oh you led a failed startup? Must be your fault.

Guess my side business is becoming full time now. Until new job.

#startup #9/10 #icebergahead

When I managed to minimize the processing time of the project I'm currently handling. It went down from 30min-1hr to 7min-15mins. The project owner was so happy, said it made his life easier. I was told I did a good job by my manager.

I feel like a real dev then and there. So whenever I'm having a bad day, feeling insecure, I try to remember that day when I was able to do something right. :)

Friend asked me, "How does it feel being the CTO of a startup?"

Me: "I feel like the main character in one of those cartoons where train, going full speed, is running out of rail road, so he takes rails from behind the train and puts them in front. And the entire thing is on fire. And everyone you hire is trying to put it out with gasoline."

Friend: "Doesn't your CEO help?"

Me: "Well... He had never seen a train before, and he thought they operate on magic and wishful thinking. And he never realized they need rail track to even run. So... not really"

Friend: "So, it's pretty bad, ha?"

Me: "It's great actually. We just closed our seed round. We're about to launch beta. I might even get 5-6 hours of sleep this weekend 😅"

In my previous company, I used to work for a client company which had a terrible website. It was about financial data and people would have to wait too long before the page loaded because there was a freaking 1.2 megs of minified, compressed JS file that needed to load before you could do anything.

Everyone knew that was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to touch spaghetti code and mess up something they didn't know.

I wanted to however take a shot at it. So an architect from client side and I discussed how we were gonna go about it and how we were gonna find the stuff that needed to load on page load and stuff that could be loaded later.

So we plan for it. We broke everything down from a globals polluting JS, found out the variables and functions that needed to run during first load by literally putting a console statement for each function and finally came up with two bundles.

The primary bundle was 120kb and would during first load and then every module would call it's own secondary bundle when the user interacted with it.

In the process, we removed half a meg of JS and the site became blazing fast.

I did it with a team of two members who, my manager thought were useless, learned a ton of stuff, setup proper process for the transition.

When the client didn't appreciate the amount of brain and effort we had put into it, these two members came forward to tell the client to acknowledge my effort and attributed the success of it to me.

I was totally moved. There was so much respect that I didnt care what anybody else thought. I was just so happy to work with those two humans.

When i left the company, i gifted them stuff they always talked about or wanted. :) Feels good.

I was working in a small startup with very cool people as a GameDev. One day I turned towards my colleague to tell him about a joke I just read and I saw flames coming out of his CPU. He was so focused on his work that he didn't notice.

I yelled "OH, SHIT' and quickly reached to the main switch and turned it off. Everyone turned towards me to yell at me, but then they saw the flames and everyone ran outside.
After few minutes the flames died. My colleague was in shock to lose his work as the HDD was completely burned.