By taking one 30 minute dump in the toilet per day to relax and read other people's code on my phone

Story of my dev life the past few weeks

It was fun to watch my entire high school (~1200 people) freak out when I ran "net send * Big brother is watching you..." on what I found to be an insecure computer in my high school's library. Every single computer in the building displayed the pop up message. The town's IT director even showed up to figure out what happened.

I was caught, but they were more happy it wasn't a hacker, and that I discovered that the IT firm the town hired totally botched properly implementing network security, so I was let off the hook.

When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?

I saw Santa! Hopefully he's bringing me a bug free solution to this backend scoring algorithm I'm developing at work!

It's Sunday, and my new job is so awesome that I can't wait to get to work tomorrow!

Apparently Snapchat's filters hate my fucking face

Fuck Weight Watchers.

It's alive!

CSS for the win!

When pinch-to-zoom didn't have enough tests....

Good job Comcast. Stay classy.

Got a new job this week with a huge raise at an awesome new company! It's wonderful being paid what you're worth! Now if the current company can just fire me so I can have a two week vacation, that'd be great.

Let the dogs out, smoke a clove, watch some metal videos, have a eureka moment, go back inside and code.

What should be actual JIRA statuses

Why the hell not?!

When the PM schedules you for 160 hours in an 80 hour sprint... I didn't enjoy living my life anyways, apparently. FMDL.

When your project manager pisses you off so much, you could punch a baby or drown a puppy....

Found this gem on quickmeme.