Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

Best DHCP server ever.

I'm not a designer but...

—_(*_*)_—

When management produces a list of priorities but every item on the list is #1 priority. So some items are in BOLD to signify their even greater priority over other priorities.

Did you say security?

No Wonder this is going to crash!!

Look who is here!!
First of all, when was it ever stable and I can bet nightmare for front end developer has just begun.

My company is like:

Boss: How long do you estimate to make a universe?
God: 14 billion years.
Boss: You have 7 days. Please reserve 1 for Q&A.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

Today I am gonna start writing code in react to replace/improve an old silverlight project.
I need to show react is faster, easier and more efficient than angular.

Thumbs up if you like react and comment if you think I'm wrong 🙂

I would do this, if I had a job

When I used Windows and I needed to flash a rom I had to download minimal adb and fastboot package to use adb and fastboot.

I am using Manjaro now so I thought there must be a minimal package. Searched on pacman and android-tools is already installed and it's just a 2mb package. I love linux 😁

> Google Drive Version Control best Version Control

Recruiter: We found you resume as a perfect match for this job, my client needs a Junior frontend developer ...., that sounds good to you?

Me: Yes, I’d like to apply but you have to be aware that I’m a Junior.

R: of course, don’t worry about it, please send your resume (ah? I thought you already have it) so we can go on with the process.

Me: ok.

... 5 fucking weeks of interviews later...

R: Hi, unfortunately we cannot proceed with you application, my client is looking more for a Senior FullStack Lord of the 7 kingdoms Master degree developer, sorry.

Me: u kidding me right?

When u break up with ur girl n she ok with it

To people who don't know how to use Linux: Just because I use nano instead of gedit or any other GUI text editor does not mean I'm showing off. Why can't you understand that ssh-ing into a server and opening a file in the terminal itself to edit three lines of configuration is much easier than opening FileZilla, connecting, downloading the file, making the changes and uploading it again. It's fine if you want to do it that way. But please don't judge me for doing it my way.

To people who are good with Linux: Can you please stop suggesting me to use vim instead, EVERY FUCKING TIME? I know it's more powerful, but I haven't been using Linux enough to have surpassed it's learning curve. Plus I google up how to use it and do use it when I have the need. Please let me be?

To people who tell me to use Windows for everything: Go suck a fat dick, you uncultured morons.

Biggest hurdle? Probably other people telling me no.

- My parents wouldn't let me go to college to study CS because 'this computer thing is just a fad and you won't be able to make a living off it'. Instead they pulled me out of school early and made me go study automotive so I could be a mechanic like my dad.

- At 22, my boss at my first tech company job heard I was taking Java classes in the evenings. Told me to stop wasting my money because I'd never be a programmer.

- Got a job at a game development company as a document writer. I could code by then. When I was done with my work I'd look for bugs and send the solutions to the programmers so they could submit them. Tech lead found out and flipped out. Said I wasn't allowed to look at the code because I 'hadn't been hired as a programmer'.

Today I'm a senior developer and pretty happy with my career.

When people tell you that you can't do something, that should be all the motivation you need to work your ass off to prove them wrong.

Learning soft skills.

I'm about as direct with coworkers and managers as I am on devRant. And I still think being painfully direct is often better than playing the heavily politicized office game of thrones.

But sometimes it's better to say:

"CTO, I think we need your skills to build bridges to other departments and manage recruitment. You're the only one who understands both technology and people, so drop your developer role and become our ambassador"

Instead of:

"Dear CTO, your code makes my eyes bleed. Your CS degree was a fucking waste of tax money, and it's quite clear that cheap college beer washed out all of your reasoning skills. We should fill the space you're taking up with a beanbag chair, because you're providing negative value to the company. How many investor cocks did you have to deep throat to get where you are?"

Now, I just pick option one, smile politely, and tell him we need to increase department budget as indemnification for having to work with a retard like him. Uh I mean... "to get developer salaries up to a competitive level so we can retain knowledge"

"Anything that can be done in GUI is better than in terminal"

Yes it's wrong and stupid. Let Microsoft fans disagree.

How to waste 7 hours of your time:
1.) Install Visual Studio 2017
2.) Install extensions for it
3.) Wait for it to destroy itself with updates
4.) Reinstall everything

This is love 😍😍😍

IE8 YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I hope everyone at Microsoft working on Windows 10 dies a horrible death and gets eaten by dogs. FUCK YOU windows!
I have a dual boot machine, logged into windows after a while(months) . Fucker 5 hours to update. Now that it's updated, I did the task I had to do and shifted back to Linux. Now all my other drives, which I didn't so much as touch with windows are fucking read only for some reason!

2 fucking hours spent on trying to find the problem, now I realize thag that after the fuckmaster's update, They reset all my settings and the dicklickin Fast Startup was on again!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WINDOWS TEAM MICROSOFT! CAN'T EVEN PERSIST USER SETTINGS DURING AN UPDATE THEN HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME "ALL YOUR FILES ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU LEFT THEM".
Dear head engineer at windows team, or product manager, or whoever the fuck is in charge of this shit, JUMP UP YOUR OWN ASS AND DIE WITH A DILDO IN YOUR MOUTH YOU DIPSHIT!

Our life story explained 😂 !

Every job where I don't have to deal with interpreted languages. I♥c(pp)

From Telegram!

npm install good-nights-sleep

I was at a web development competition in Helsinki when representative of Microsoft comes by my desk and suddenly says:
"I see, you are using Visual Studio Code. How it is?"
"It's great.", I answer.
"YES! Finally, we have done something right."

The point being that even Microsoft's own employees know how carbage their products can be. *Cough* *Caugh* Windows.