Millennials

😂😂😂

A story of love, loss, and devRant.

My favorite sunglasses were a victim of hurricane Irma. They were sitting on the park bench when a powerful gust of wind blew them onto the cement floor, where both lenses were fucked right where I look out of them. I bought these sunglasses at Disney with my family and have not stopped wearing them since. I was pretty upset.

Enter devRant. Sad and without sunglasses, I hoped that virtual ones might suffice. Lo and fucking behold, in the profile editor, there they were: my exact sunglasses, even with the choice between silver and gold. Absolutely fucking perfect. Made my day.

What is this?

Yep that's how I want to wake up, with a mini heart attack ...

I somehow want to make an ai that analyses porn videos and learns to distinguish the parts when he cums on her face. I would call it facial recognition.

Sorry.

Client: how much for a face recognition system?
...
Client: well fuck you that's too expensive, I ll have my nephew do it.

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

User:"It's not working"
Me:"Have you turned it off and on again?"
User:"Yes"
Me: goes down there, system uptime is 360days...
"How do you turn it off?"
User:"by pressing the button on the monitor

Me: Wanna see this website I built this weekend?

Friend: Yeah, sure.

Me: I connected a bunch of APIs so you can snap a photo of yourself and get a recommended song based on your facial expression. Pretty cool, right?

Friend: *thinking* ... I think you should change the size of that button, and the colors are pretty bad, dude.

Every time I show my non-tech friends anything I get this kind of feedback :/

Amen Brother ✊️

Popup: "Do you enjoy using our app"

No, because I know you want to trick me into reviewing your app

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

My friend said an intern designed this UI for an internal site.

No. Just... no

CSS - keep guessing the values until it looks fine.

Samsung got that one right 😂😂😂

That marketing guy is in big trouble.

Recruiter: Why you choose this company to work with?

Me: I didn't choose it, I have other interviews.

Recruiter: So why we should hire you?

Me: So I can pay my bills.

Via abstrusegoose.com:

Yes, my life is colorful...

If money is lost,
Nothing is lost.

If health is lost,
Something is lost.

If CHARACTER is lost
8 bits are lost.

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Structure Padding

So...
Why do elegant programmers use Java??

It is classy! :D

When WhatsApp is not sure whether you have messages or not😂😂

Interviewer : Where do you live?
Me : /home

Sums up my life😒

I have to do this every time I leave my laptop alone.
Hostel Life !

Difference between 0 and NULL.

Shakira as a programmer : Heaps don't lie

Every damn time.