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!rant

My personal wisdom of the day: You know you are getting older if you are too lazy to crack you program licenses and instead buy them legally.

The iSheep still think they're superior...

Why am I able to write a quick search algorithm in JavaScript but am not able to talk to girls?

Shouldn't the second one be easier than the first one?

Shouldn't every human being be able to do the first one?

Just had the first pull request on my repo! ❤️

We are in 2017! :)

"Why are people using Git? It's too complicated. Dropbox can do the same kind of things."

- A fellow CS student at university

Bahaha more like savage server

You know whats hard? Naming variables , school didnt teach me this stuff

Wanted to reboot my work pc today. I always do that through a terminal and I've got dozens open anyways.

*wants to reboot right away*
*stops at the last possible point to check if I'm not in a server-logged-in terminal*

😓

*silently logs out of prod server*

Well that was god damn close.

Yep that's how I want to wake up, with a mini heart attack ...

Potential Employer: So your website does not seem to work well in Internet Explorer. A lot of employers might get annoyed with it.

Me: Yeah, I don't want them to hire me or even send me a message.

Looks like I'll be debugging for the next 20 years

Lets all help them share their startup

An entirely typical exchange at work:

PM: How long would it take to build an application that collates Gubblefluffs and exports them as a PDF?

ME: Hard to say. What’s a Gubblefluff?

PM: Nothing complex. Its basically an object with some stuff in.

ME: Erm, okay. So I’ll define a Gubblefluff object plus methods to add edit and delete, then for each Gubblefluff have it write a line to a PDF.

PM: It will need to email that PDF to somebody.

ME: Okay, cool. “Gubblefluffs-by-email” should take about a day.

6 hours later…

ME: I’ve done Gubblefluffs-to-pdf, I’m not clear on what’s in a Gubblefluff but I’ve made it flexible so it can take almost anything.

PM: No, a Gubblefluff can ONLY be one of 4 Snigglefingers plus a timestamp and some JSON.

ME: What? Right. Okay. What’s a Snigglefinger?

PM: (sighs) A Snigglefinger is the collection of relevant Babelsets.

ME: Babelsets?

PM: Yeah, a user can have any number of Babelsets but they must correspond to one of the four types of Snigglefingers.

ME: There are users!?

PM: Of course!

ME: But I’ve not coded anything for users.

PM: Shit. I’ve told the client they can have it today. How long to add in users?

ME: And Babelsets, and Snigglefingers and the new Gubblefluff rules?

PM: Yeah.

6 days later…

ME: This is done now. It’s a beast but it works. Who should it email the PDFs to?

PM: Client X, plus cc to Y and bcc to Z.

ME: What? It doesn't support CC and BCC!

1 hour later…

ME: This is done. I’ve tested it and sent you a copy of the PDF it generates.

PM: Okay thanks. Is the cron running daily?

ME: What cron?

…

ME: Okay, so the cron’s running once a day at 8pm.

PM: Oh, it’ll need to be at 3:15pm. That’s when we’ve told the client they’ll get it.

ME: Right. I’ll change it...

PM: Also, the PDF you sent me looks nothing like the visual.

ME: What visual?
...

Me: *just playing around with Git on my terminal*

Friend: "Man, you're such a geek, typing your git command on the terminal.. I myself can't use git without the GUI at all"

Me: *stares at him in silence*

Me: "Wait... THERE 'S A GUI FOR THAT?"

*true story when I was in college*

Wow?!? Even removing this crap takes fucking centuries!
I'm already sitting here for 45 minutes. How the fuck is this possible?!!

My boss can't differentiate between a raise and arrays

*noticeable chuckles*

"If you start with something, keep to it and never change course."

string work_it, make_it, do_it, makes_us;
if(work_it=="harder") {
make_it="better";
if(make_it=="better") {
do_it="faster";
if(do_it=="faster") {
makes_us="stronger";
}}}

Oh the ups and down of learning code. One day you feel like a programming prodigy, the next you hit a concept that makes you feel like you'll never become a professional programmer. So much to learn!!!! 😭😭

True story.

- Merging 300 files from one branch to another in TFS.
- No merge conflicts.

My first thought:
This can't be right. I must have done something wrong...

Installed Visual Studio 2015. I have 162GB left in my SSD.

Uninstalled Visual Studio 2015. I have 151GB left in my SSD.

You know you're not going to have fun when you get assigned to a project which required to install this software...

Every single day.

*finally upgrades my personal website from a plain html link collection*
*sends it to dev friends' telegram group*
*receives negative reviews for the color palette*

I... I tend to forget that im colorblind

There are not enough humans.txt in the world. (http://humanstxt.org/)

But that is my email....