Did we travel back in time or something?

Oh the joy...

A lot of people posting their goal is a higher salary. So my goal will be to: create a program of value that enables me to collect a percentage of your higher salary.

Why thank you very much!

Get enough sleep..

"Impossible deadline experience?"

When product owners promise delivery dates.

One day, I came back from a two weeks holiday, relaxed. I noticed a teammate missing. "Yes, he took the week off". Sure, why not.

We were working under a bastardized enterprisey version of Scrum (didn't we all at some point?). So we didn't just have a product owner, we had three and an additional "Head of PO". Because enterprises can't live without hierarchies or something. Barely an hour after I came into office, she entered the room and came straight to me. "Your coworker was almost done implementing feature X. You need to finish it immediately. No worries, though, coworker said the rest is a piece of cake".

It wasn't. There was *a lot* left to do, the JIRA task wasn't entirely clear, and the existing code for the feature was so-so (obviously WIP code). I estimated two weeks for the implementation, plus some time to clarify the requirements. When telling "Head of PO" she lost her shit. Screaming things like "this feature is due the end of this week" and "I signed this with my blood!". Well, I didn't, and I made it clear that I hadn't been consulted on this, thus I would not accept any blame in case we missed the deadline.

So I gave my best that week, getting pestered by "Head of PO" all the time. "Is it done yet?", "why does it take so long?" and "your coworker would've been done by now!". Yeah fuck you, too. Not only was I not relaxed any more, I was even more stressed than before my holiday! Thanks, you stupid bitch.

Well, her arbitrary deadline came and the feature wasn't ready. And what happened was... exactly nothing. The following week my coworker returned, who gave me an apologetic smile. "I told her the feature was nowhere finished. And even me, being familiar with the task, couldn't make it in time". We finished the feature together that week, and that was the end of it. So... "Head of PO" either didn't listen or lied to me. She then stressed me to the max right from the day I came back from my holiday. And in the end it didn't even matter.

Again, thanks you stupid bitch, for creating a toxic work environment. Should you ever read this, I'm happy I quit and I hope you miss every single deadline for the rest of your life. Screw you.

Reality

What's your current remote work policy?

Our CEO said we have to go back to office next week, despite government strongly recommends to work from home. He says "I don't care what government says, government is not paying our salaries. We need to produce value in this company!"

Wuuuut??

If I'm not the Scrum Master, am I a Scrum slave ?

fuck this year seriously

Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP

Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS

Code review titles by year:

1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist

Me things

ME in XAML:

<Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid><Grid>

Gooooood morning, 🦆 ducks!

"In fact, 97% of the code in a modern web application comes from npm. An individual developer is responsible only for the final 3% that makes their application unique and useful."

😄 3%? haha

npm report 2018
https://blog.npmjs.org/post/...

There’s a SQL joke in there somewhere

Do you try this?

So I recently started discarding Proxmox for Arch on my experimental server.. new skill acquired 🙃

When you start cleaning your code after writing complete program

Noob : how to hack facebook??

Legacy code 😂

Way more important.

Apparently Stackoverflow was down recently. I think I missed it, because I was busy reading homemade documentation and having multiple existential crisis over the performance of my code.
Mondays

This...

I ❤️ F#, this function is both beautiful and was an utter nightmare to create 😂

The New Bug Fixing Architecture.

But why...... :|

Crash me inside
#BSODForTheWin

My phone just got a buffer overflow... a really sweet buffer overflow in fact!
Thank you @Elyz 🤗

Me and my girlfriend are taking care of our friend’s dog for a few days. The dog’s name is Debi, i immediately started calling her Debian 😃