DON'T. TOUCH. MY. FUCKING. SCREEN.

TL;TR

My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....

In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.

I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.

At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.

Be kind to your parents.

No I will not disable my AdBlocker to view your content.

I'll just disable JS in browser.
*Troll face*

Ten hours of making a fully responsive website for a gf's university class in only pure HTML and CSS made me realize how much I take frameworks for granted.

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

That moment you write tons of code and compile it and there are No errors.

*achievement unlocked*

Have to share some pillow talk with the wife last night - somehow got onto the subject of washing machines. Mentioned that most washing machines run on something like Java, she disagreed and said they run on buttons. BUTTONS!!

Told her I would be putting this on devrant.

What is the porpose of this key next to the left shift??? Instead of giving me a wider shift key, you gave me two forward slash keys... WHY?! I suspect Microsoft is behind that.

Node.js is like hot glue. It has its usages but you shouldn't build cathedrals with it.

When your seniors wrap their garbage in a JSON response.

People generally ask me that how do you do app development so easily. I replied "Common sense which is not so common."

I don't have a #RubberDuck for debugging!! So a rubber #shark does the job for me!! 😁

My biggest hurdle was finding a way to go from my old 1400*900 screens to 1080p
Needles to say i finally was able to upgrade after years

After my previous PC bursting into flames when I changed my input voltage to 120v on the power supply my dad never bought me one again this happened when I was aged 12. I was so much in love with computers that I would visit my friends who had ones at home and not leave till their moms asks me to. I remember collecting my lunch money and buying a Pentium 4 mb for dog cheap at a local store and as soon as I plugged in the mb short-circuited and died (I had the other parts as I was scavenging the junk yard for them). I'll never forget the moment I burst into tears seeing my hopes for a PC dieing. So after all the years passing when I was 16 I spent my whole summer vacation working in a construction site doing so much heavy work. There were days that my body couldn't bear and I just fell but somehow by the end of that summer I managed to collect enough money to assemble this 3rd gen dual-core. This is my baby. I'm using it till this date.
**Sorry about the bad English

People who don't understand what I code or who don't even know what a freaking "code" is, telling me how to do my job!! Then my reaction will be like -