Working on a 6 months long project with delivery scheduled in one more month.. Now my manager says we either ship it in 6 dev days or he gets fired.

wondering whether the fact that I'm avoiding people to extreme measures is part of my identity and it is completely fine to be like that or is actually an obstacle in realization of my identity and I truly should do something about it

Manager: Hey, how are things with everything thats been going on? Hows the mood?

Me:

Fucking developers putting emojis in their code!

My terminal (st) doesn't support displaying emojis and it crashes immediately once it read an emoji. I have been chasing crashing bugs for weeks and I just found out where the issue is.

Heres my $.05 for beginners:

opencv doesnt work if you have a sticker on your webcam

Somebody asked me my API doc.
I don't have any API at all.

I will lie, and I'll write a swagger specification in few hours and I'll send them.

They will try to read it and understand, and after maybe a week, when they will ask for testing and endpoint I'll pretend to be on holiday for 2 weeks.

3-4 weeks gone already, I checked they should be on holiday by then. Only then, I'll answer with a fake endpoint with fake data.

I'll get another 2 weeks if I'm lucky.
When they discover about fake data, I'll say there is a bug.

In total if I play well, I have 2/2.5 months to implement some kind of API server with some more or less true implementation.

Thanks to Swagger. Swag

Me 2 months ago: "Im sick of this winter as soon as its sunny im gonna go outside and ride my bike."

Me today: "Meh"

These design trends are so cringey wtf! It's only a matter of time before everyone realises it.

20's Kids these days....

I think one of the book is misleading🤔

I am always looking forward to the weekend to have some time to work on my side projects, and then I can't get my ass up to do it.

OC from a while back, still relevant to me today

How many times did you have the "I'm so fucking retarded" moment when you're fixing your code?

*Now a days*
We don't need viruses ☣ or malwares to slow down MS Windows 💻,
Two Tabs of Google Chrome does it delicately. 😂😂😂😂😂

Nm.....

Got a proper mechanical keyboard for work instead of that nasty third generation hand-me-down cramped layout crap they gave me. I also got a small plant for my desk. Fuckin fantastic.

*This morning*
HR Lady: we saw your profile and we think it fits what we're looking for, I just need to know what you use for front-end programming

Me: I use ReactJs, AngularJs and for backend NodeJs

HR Lady: Hmm, so you don't use Javascript

Me: ... (unhandled exception in my head)

Me: M'am everything I mentioned is using Javascript

HR Lady: oh! ok.

"It can't be that bad, how many times have you honestly thought about quitting this week?"

Me:

This site prospers because of how much we procrastinate at work

How many of you wear shades at work?

I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄

about chatbots...

Hhhhh if ur gonna code a bot then code the bot properly

Overheard from the room next to mine:
Person 1: My computer is frozen ..
Person 2 (Not a native English speaker): Did you try to shut down and shut up ?

!rant
Our lead dev in the company seems to be a smart guy who's sensitive about code quality and best practices. The current project I'm working on (I'm an intern) has really bad code quality but it's too big an application with a very important client so there's no scope of completely changing it. Today, he asked me to optimize some parts of the code and I happily sat down to do it. After a few hours of searching, profiling and debugging, I asked him about a particular recurring database query that seemed to be uneccesarilly strewn across the code.
Me: "I think it's copy pasted code from somewhere else. It's not very well done".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, the code may not the be really beautiful. It was done hurriedly by this certain inexperienced intern we had a few years back".
Me: "Oh, haha. That's bad".
Lead Dev: "Yeah, you know him. Have you heard of this guy called *mentions his own name with a grin*?"
Me: ...
Lead Dev: "Yeah, I didn't know much then. The code's bad. Optimize it however you like. Just test it properly"
Me: respect++;

True story.

lol what? My company offers $5k for referring full time employees... and $10k for referring female technologists.

As a female software engineer, makes me deeply uncomfortable.

How to get funding? Powered by AI.

You ever open some code that was committed a few years ago by an employee long gone and it's so shit you have to get up and go outside to take a deep breath of fresh air?

In relationship with "Programming" but looking for girl who code $_<
.
.
how about you ?

Yup, True