A most cathartic feeling: when I get to remove a huge block of commented code that isn't necessary. 😌

As someone who isn't very good at actual design or implementing design very well, I usually have to start with a template for admin dashboards on my sites. Which means I have to deal with bootstrap. I've come to life with that fact. But what I can't stand is getting these templates and the HTML is so bad, all I see are flying v's! Don't these people know that you don't need 12 levels of divs? And for fuck's sake, run your code through HTMLTidy! Thank God I didn't pay money for this one.

Have to change out the audio player on a WordPress site for a podcast. Can't follow the code properly because wp forgets that standards are a thing. Code readability is shit as well. Fucking WordPress.

About to take a call for a senior position. Looking over the job requirements, they use a framework that hasn't seen an update since December 2017. Might make some suggestions for newer frameworks.

Manager: With all the horror stories why are we even developers?

Me: Because once we get part the horror, we become geniuses.

Manager: So what you're saying is that being a developer is like taking a crap after being constipated for three weeks?

Google AdWords api makes me not want to be a Dev anymore.

Fuck XML. Fuck it right up it's X with it's M, all the way to L.

I fucking hate SOAP.

Boss hired a freelancer to work on a new reporting dashboard. Freelancer also built a backed. Boss wants me to work on fixing that backend. I check out the DB first only to find plaintext passwords. I threw up a little.

I used to work somewhere where locking your screen was important, as the company dealt with customer financials. So we would prank those who left screens unlocked all the time. One day, one of my co-workers walked away and left his screen unlocked. I proceeded to change his keyboard layout to Dvorak and left it unlocked, thinking he would be right back. He got caught in a very long discussion and his screen locked from being idle too long. When he came back and unlocked his screen, password was wrong so many times, he for locked out of his account. I had to tell him what I did and he had to explain to the network admins what happened. We both got a slap on the wrist for that one.

Make one typo in devRant....

Don't you hate it when you are typing too fast in him and you accidentally capitalize your commands?

The dislike of Internet Explorer is pretty universal. But I have to know, what do the devs who worked on IE think of it.

I have a question for the freelancers out there. When getting work, do you usually go through some sort of vetting process from the person or group hiring you? It seems that the company I work for doesn't do anything if the sort and I want to know if that is something a company should do.

How isolated do you have to be as a developer to not know why you don't commit compiled files into source control? And then argue about it?

Anxiety is waiting for an answer on stack overflow.

You may have the latest IDE with all the cool interactions and what not, but knowing how to use either Vim or Emacs on the command line will take you super far in your dev career.

WordPress.

I have had more than one person, including those that sign my paycheck, think that because I know one programming language, I can easily learn any other language because they are all programming. Just because I work in PHP and understand a small amount of JavaScript does not mean I will be able to program in Adobe Experience Java.

That explains everything. Thank you, Magento.

I did a thing! Also, Magento can go to hell.

You know how people say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Those people have never done different things and gotten the same result.

Magento. Just, fucking Magento.

How to tell if someone had never developed before and never looked at Linux before: I'm not familiar with symlinks.

I feel like this happens to me WAY too often.

Worst project I worked on was fixing up and optimizing a clients legacy Magento app. this thing had leftover code from a few different development teams, and then my company had to make it run better. We outsourced much of it, and it wasn't using a proper git setup. in order to do absorb at all, we had to SSH to a dev server, work directly, and pray another person on the team want working on the same file or breaking something else.

This is how I feel on Friday afternoons when my PM tells me that there is one more thing.

So this one is more for web devs out there, but is Adobe Experience Manager as popular in the enterprise works as my boss claims? I've never heard of it getting used much, and I don't hear about it in web development circles.

For all the Java jokes I see here and people bashing the language, are there any Java devs here? If you are a Java dev, do you enjoy it?

So maybe I don't know where I live. Or I was just so excited to get my stickers that I goofed and transposed my address. Either way, I finally got them and have many plans for where they go!