Went to get a cup of coffee and came back to this:

When customer insists on a proffesional design document

DevRant algo strikes again. When its gonna become sentient?

Pavlov VR

Is anyone playing? Looking to form a team :)

I use Linux for work.
I use windows for gaming.
I think I used macbook once as a monitor stand.

long timeAgo; int galaxyFar // far away...

Fuck you Linux. I love you and I hate you.

Skype for business is the most useless fuking piece of shit enterprise joke of a software. Fuck you microsoft.

source: https://game.intel.com/8086sweepsta...
read the terms and conditions point 5.

Like... really... wtf Intel?? xD

The moment when your company customer is a major mobile provider and you reply to their support question: "Device you mentioned was not included in the bundle you got, but we can include it for 4.99/m + vat if you're on contract."

;D for all the times they said it to me...

Perl is a fucking piece of shit

Facebook: Something that keeps me up at night is...?
Me:

After switching from win to linux, and observing chrome process background behaviour for a while now I can with great certainity say it resembles a malware...

Javascript.

It was created with a mind of writing simple scripts in browser not for some to attempt to write whole fucking applications (which seems to be a plague these days). Typed languages!

I just merged master branch INTO my development branch. Fuuuuuuuck

Guilfoyle - the badass of nerds. I think he speaks for most of us.

fuck apache kafka this worthless piece of shit never fucking works >:(

++ if you can relate

Translation:
System Test
632 BUS got fucked

Sell a 2000€ laptop with all the ram cpu power 4k display you name it.
Throw in a 5400rpm mechanical hdd as standard.

Microsoft (r)
( ')
//
//
( ) )

For months had a static clicking very faint noise on my creative speakers. Googled every issue with my x-fi titanium, swapped pcie around, changed cables you name it. In the end I blamed "dying" speakers amp as they have 10 years now only to realize a minute ago it was interference from the fecking cell phone's 4g...

Node.js is the most fucking useless application of js in publishing apps, worse can be only python. Why the fuck would you do all of those "cool" apps if they are fucking useless like tech demo. I found blessed-contrib. Awesome. Now try to use it in real life scenario. Fuck all and useless. Any attempt to port it to a remote terminal or even running locally in browser are so much hassle it will be easier to rewrite the fucking thing in java or c. Why everyone is wanking off at node.js when its fucking useless.

Recipe for a Great Programmer:

Ingredients:
-Books for a computer science curriculum from a top university
-Computer
-Headphones
-Internet
-Stress ball
-Pillow
-Lighter fluid
-Food

Directions:

1. Cover computer science books with lighter fluid
2. Light books on fire
3. Use flames to cook an energy-rich meal for the thousands of hours ahead
4. Pick an IDE
5. Choose a project beyond current capabilities. Good ways to push boundaries:
- Unfamiliar domain (e.g. large scale data processing, UI programming, high performance computing, games)
- Exotic programming language
- Larger in scope than any project before
6. Shut up about your IDE
7. Attempt to build
8. Stop procrastinating on Hacker News
9. Re-attempt to build
10. Squeeze stress ball and scream into pillow as necessary to keep sanity
When stuck:
- Paste stack traces into Google
- Find appropriate mailing list to get guidance
- Realize that real learning happens when you are stuck, uncomfortable, and/or frustrated
- Seek out books, classes, or other resources AFTER you have a good understanding of your deficiencies
11. Repeat #4 to #10 for at least 10 years
12. Results guaranteed! (to the same extent static types guarantee bug-free programs)

source: nathanmarz.com

Team meeting. We are getting religous. They just agreed after an hour argunent to keep curly braces on the same line not new line. Im gonna need a teraphy to follow that practice.

If programmers went on a permanent strike civilized world would be back to 18th century within a month. We need a union.

Thanks for the stickers! Awesome

Ok so I've noticed we have a small setup "pissin contest" so my di... I mean setup is that big ;)

This awkward moment when you go:
- Who the fuck wrote that shit?
And the other side of room whispers:
- You did...

"Another day of shitty weather..." said a programmer woken up to a sunshine.