No,Thanks I can wait one more day.

I'm the biggest dumbass, the laziest procrastinator I know of..

Joined devRant in June 2017, got eligible for the stickers in a week's time, sent a mail requesting them, but never received it. Given the size of our community, I thought I'm way behind in the list and probably receive them in few months. After a year, I totally forgot about it.

But, the colossal stupid that I am, had also lost the key to my mailbox (the physical one). I never cared about the lost key, because who sends post these days !!!

When I finally got a duplicate key for my mailbox after 2 years, guess what I found.. a first class international mail from devRant which arrived on July 2017 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️, couple of weeks after I originally requested

But, yay... I finally got them..

Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:

"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."

Instead try:

"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."

I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.

If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.

Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.

Not easy to spot

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

devRant just hit 50,000 downloads on Android (fancy new store badge, yay!). Thank you everyone for being part of this community and spreading the good word! @dfox and I have some fun new features in the works, exciting times!

The amazing adventure of IE

OH MY GOD

If you're new, don't say hello as a rant! Saying hello is not a fucking rant! Do an actual fucking rant or don't say anything at all. Holy fucking shit!

We're glad to have you and all, but saying hello is just a fucking waste of a rant and of rantfeed space. Jesus Christ.

Someone will notice you're new, don't worry your little fucking heads.

I'm a bad influence.

It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.

Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...

Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.

🍺

I was gonna talk shit about Microsoft but I just won an Azure swagbag on Twitter so I'll keep it to myself for today.

I was forced to attend a meeting about a project I wasn't part of.

Am I the only one who feels more productive after midnight? Lol

One last exam tomorrow and I complete my engineering degree.

Large corporation. CEO tells everyone to attend this mandatory meeting via the internet.
I work remotely. I can't log in, meeting is full. But our colleagues have made a parallel meeting just for us in the meantime, where I could hear them make fun of the meeting, which is basically the CEO showing some Powerpoint slides to a room with 10 people. Nobody can either see the slides (bad camera or connection) or hear the CEO (crap microphone). 1000+ people watching this "mandatory" meeting that lasted for an hour. Nobody had any idea what it was about in the end. Just slides and muffled voices.

—_😂_—

Oddly true

Meanwhile, someone had a plan.

😂😂 typically windows

If I had a dev superpower it would be the ability to generate 3D printed objects at will so I could have more cool shit on my desktop.

When you have a million things to do but CS memes are life :)

My Brain @ Day Time And Night Time

At the ending part of the interview, I asked a final question to the HR.

Me: "So, what language is mostly used here?"

HR: "Since we're dealing with customers from different countries, English."

Seems like this bug will take a lot of my time today.

I think Tim Berners-lee's CV prob doesn't give him enough credit: "Web developer".

In all honesty, if there was a course on giving variables good, informative and not completely stupid names... I would take it.

Fixed a two year old bug by deleting a bunch of code

Thanks Spotify, I'm really digging your suggested songs!

Photo of the day...

Well that's one way to explain it