How do you even come up with shit like this?

How to play video games on Mac

This is funny

Simple flowchart XD

I have a teacher that does nothing but reading from powerpoint slides.
Wrote a script that does a better job.

;____;

Saw this one on twitter. lol

Binary is easy to teach

assignment: use winAPI to create a "virus" that put itself in autorun and does nothing.

me, a curious student: does the assignment and adds a heap corruption code just as a joke.

after sending the assignment to the teacher I realized that I have sent the real virus.

result: teacher comes next lesson without a computer and stares at me silently and viciously.

we'll see what happens next
any idea on what's going on in his head?

new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

based on true story
> delivered project on time
> giving good performance
> boss noticed
> gives appreciation
> raise in salary
> profit

May the force be with you

This shit is real.

Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.

I just don't have words.....

Yesterday I had message from our CEO, that one of our biggest and most important project's CEO have told her that there is spelling mistake in my email signature and people there will judge because of that.

PS: I had Enginner instead of Engineer in such small font that even no one even noticed in entire year not even me.(I don't even feel ashamed for that it was not intentional and it does not make me bad at what I do at my work)

I just want to ask you guys are people really that bad they judge based on spellings? and not on work and their dedication?
I think there will be thousand of people who can't even speak or write English but are more innovative.

"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"

"I am an experienced data protection manager"

"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"

"No"

"Your email address?"

"No"

"You're hired"

A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:

Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*

It's those moments which can make your fucking day!

lol 😂😂😂

Never leave your login on a postit

How often do you clean your iMac's screen ?

Me : null

Made a bad pun at work. Collegue:

What about I break this beer bottle *points at it*, stick it in your throat and put it up your ass sideways afterwards?

Me: 😅 I'll stop 😅

Sometimes my timing is bad :P

The first time I tried to use an image as a background, this happened and it freaked me out lmao. Then I realized my mistake

Since past two-three years, Indian Government has been organizing a Hackathon called Smart India Hackathon for college students. And Luckily our team was selected this year.

This team had 5 Electronics Student and 1 Computer Student. Guess who the Computer Student was? Yea, Me.

They Knew nothing about Android Development. And the idea was about an Android Development. I was the only person who could code.

The centre for our hackathon was Varanasi and we live in Hyderabad. So we had to go there. I have not really travelled a lot in the trains (especially not this far from Hyderabad to Varanasi ). During the whole 37 hours journey, I was not able to sleep cause I am not accustomed to sleeping on a train.

The moment we reached Varanasi the hackathon had started which was 36 hours long. Normally team members switch places so that they can sleep but not ours. Cause I was the only one coding and it had to be done in this 36 hours. So add this up 36+36 hours of no sleep, I must have rarely slept for 3-4 hours in that 72 hours.

After the hackathon, I slept like a Snorlax whereas the other went for a trip around Varanasi ('_')

Sorry for the excess of blury.

Coworker thinks running a query on a console is a way to proof all use-cases.

Good lord I'm still surprised at how many bugs I can spot just by overlooking his code.

I mean, what is a MVC?!!SHIFT+1!!!?

Routing is just a file importing a 5000 liner controller that is actually not a controller for it handles http attributes and sends the response themselves.

Models are just good guesses of queries or a shit load of them: see picture attached

HALP

"you only learn how to swim when you're pushed in the pool, not by reading books on swimming"

"Only stay late at work when it makes sense to, otherwise always leave on time. There's always going to be work left, no matter how much you get done in one day."

Best advice ever.

Edit: I have to say it was during my first week in my first recent grad job.

Estimate * 1.2

(Q: How much are you allowed to Google as a developer?)

“You’re allowed to Google as much as you want. This is not school, you’re employed to solve a problem. Nobody cares whether you Google for the answer or remember the answer from another Googling.”

—_(*_*)_—

Client...

I got my first job!

A real, full-time job that doesn't pay me shit!

I haven't even graduated Uni yet!

FUCK YEAH! 🍻