Music for ever 🎧🔥

ahaha. The white Slack emoji skintone is frowned upon at $work, and we're encouraged to use the yellow one instead to be "inclusive" -- but fear not, the brown ones are totally fine.

Gotta love woke companies.

Nvidia is currently running a competition on their Omniverse platform to win a top of the line RTX card

All you need to do is create a visually impressive raytracing tech demo... which requires a powerful RTX card... to win a powerful RTX card

Thanks guys

I made this

Just in case you didn't know
https://www.shitexpress.com/

We made a Tetris cake 😁

bitchface micromanager keeps telling me i don't communicate enough, don't do enough, am not fast enough, etc.

So i've been sending her a weekly summary of ~50 bullet points of things I did during the week, issues encountered, workarounds found, research findings, who i talked to, etc. all organized by task with links to the tickets.

My work volume hasn't increased (probably decreased, actually) but it certainly looks like I'm doing a lot. probably because i am? but she doesn't listen during standup, so... victory by a hundred bullet points it is!

Today my current company fuck itself.

We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.

And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".

30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.

This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.

And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...

Funny day :)

Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...

I once set a customers server on fire.
Litterally.
I put my laptop ontop of the server rack and the additional heat generated caused blue smoke to fill the room.
The whole building had to be evacuated.
Firetrucks came.
The customer eyeballed me quite a bit after he talked to the firemarshal regarding where the fire had originated.

"How would you like your coffee Sir?" Lmaooo

A lot of people use the word "google" as a verb when they search on google.com by saying " i googled that ...", but me i use only DuckDuckGo, so what i should say? hmm find it :D " i duckduckwent that .. "

I am asked to refactor this file in order to make it readable
what do you say guys ?

Eh, windows, i do not think my RAM is that fast...

Check this out! My "Dell-rolling man" is now ranting as well.

What's worse than a meeting jam-packed with corporate bullshit? An entire day of the same stuff, rebranded as a conference.

Hats off for Microsoft.

After recent updates we are now able to install Windows 10 without ever being promoted to log into a Microsoft account. I was even able to uninstall OneDrive like any other application.

Small steps into the good direction.

Hahaha 😂😂

Fucked up an sql join once and accidentally deleted myself from the employee​ table in the prod database. So I kinda fired myself... Good thing we had backups. 😂

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests

Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing

Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable

(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented

I was in school and I got bored. I opened two command prompts and did what any scammer would do.

I went to the root of the drive and did a tree. The other window is pinging google infinitely.

After a few seconds, I hear a kid say "Are you hacking the pentagon?". That guy also asked me to hack the Google Play Store. He shall forever think I'm a hacker.

But why ???

Looking for a bug.

Plugged headphone into my ears.

Suddenly part of code caught my attention, started debugging.

10 minutes of intense debugging, wondering why there's no music in my ear.

Realised I forgot to plug the headphone into my mobile :(

When he told her he worked in IT support, it really turned her on.
Then it turned her off.
Then it turned her on again...

Who Is Who

➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶

➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶

➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇

➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷

➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶

➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶

Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂

Found this gem in our production code today

Client: Why did you use Vanilla JavaScript? Even my child doesn't eat vanilla.

Me: Uhh..., you realise we are not talking about ice-cream right?
Right?
RIGHT?

When I get a dog, I'm naming it "Sudo".

Girl: Can you make me an app?
Me: What kind of app do you have in mind?
Girl: I want it to be... like an app!
Me: Sounds a bit to difficult sorry.

Client: "You literally did what I asked you to do."
Me: ...
Client: "I need you to do it differently."
Me: ಠ_ಠ

The ability to undo is a gift to mankind...